[ daily sacrifice ]

Moving the blog...

2008-03-25T21:12:00.001-05:00

I've moved my blog to greener pastures. Sorry for the inconvenience.

daily.sacrifice.2.0

Leah Shovelhands

2008-01-24T21:10:00.000-06:00

While many are familiar with the popular Tim Burton film Edward Scissorhands, few are aware of the straight-to-dvd sequel, Leah Shovelhands. The story follows a young girl and her desire to shovel small amounts of snow from one bucket to another.

Sadly, in this pursuit of snow transfer, young Leah is unable to hold a shovel due to her multi-layer mittens. Thankfully, her McGyver-esque father had the brilliant idea of taping the shovels to her hands. A very happy girl ensued.

Okay, before you equate me to the lunatic who taped the Packer jersey to his son, this was not done out of some bizarre hatred towards my daughter. Rather, it was done because she asked me to and it seemed like a reasonable solution to an unusual problem.

Also, here is a picture of the stray cat, Chester, who has been living in our garage for the past week. Sadly, Chester turns out to be a girl which is the second animal I have incorrectly named based on their gender. Oh well. Either way, if you want a cat, let me know. This little guy...er...girl...can't live in our garage forever.

My Little Cheesehead

2008-01-23T22:02:00.000-06:00

It's amazing how fast kids learn stuff. Leah now knows what a football is, can identify it on TV, knows who the Packers are and is well aware that "Dad watch football." She's a smart one. A little too observant at times, but still smart.

Today was a rather long day for a day off. Having two kids who are pretty congested and sick in general that it is hard to get any sleep let alone sleep in. Thankfully my wonderful wife did allow me to sleep in until 9 after getting up at 6 with Leah.

Tonight we went to drop some food off for friends of ours who just had their first baby. Then we went grocery shopping and to help out at the youth ministry at church. I am in charge of the games each week, so this week I pulled out the classic "Sock-head Jousting." For the uninitiated, you play this by putting a pantyhose on your head with a tennis ball in the end and twirling it around trying to catch and remove the same contraption from your opponent's head. For the night I was 4-0, which I credit to my abnormally large nose and satellite-esque ears.
Next week I get to lead the "spiritual" component for the group. I'm not sure what I'm going to talk about yet, but I'm leaning towards the topic of how heroes, idols and God need to interact.

Too...much...snow.

2008-01-22T21:33:00.000-06:00

Thanks to a recent purchase of a thumbdrive usb camera (only $12 on amazon), I suddenly feel inspired to blog again. I never liked blogging when my photos were just something I found on the internet or worse, no photo at all. I'm hopeful with a camera always in my pocket I can capture the many interesting and in some cases bizarre moments on my daily life.

With that said, in the last few weeks we have just been buried in snow. It seems like every weekend I am out shoveling, snow blowing and plowing. At this point, it is getting hard to even find a place to put the snow. The photo below is while I was riding the snowplow down towards the office and dining hall, eating the blowing snow the whole time.

It's certainly a bittersweet gift of snow though. I am always happy to see kids enjoying sledding thanks to the snow. I just wish there was a better way to remove it from the places we don't want the snow.

At least I had a cute little girl to cheer me up when I went inside to warm up. I swear she just keeps getting cuter every day.

Familial Adjusting

2007-12-14T10:24:00.000-06:00

Closing in on one week with Micah in our lives sure went fast. He has actually been a really great kid and Leah, likewise, has adjusted considerably. There are still times that I can tell Leah wants nothing more than to be the undivided center of attention, but there are just as many times where she looks are her brother and simply becomes giddy with joy.

For me, I forgot how much I enjoyed just holding a little baby. Most days when Leah and Jamie are taking a nap, I have had Micah on my chest while I either watch some TV or play a videogame. It is probably the most relaxing feeling in the world.

At the same time, it isn't all rainbows and unicorns. There are stressful moments when Leah is acting up or Micah decides to start squealing like pig that can quickly wear anyone's patience. It's these moments that I need to learn to stay calm during and remember that I need to be the voice of reason when the kids go off the deep end. I have seen many parents lose their cool when the kids act up and it just perpetuates or even increases the problem. I can't let that happen.

Another unique change is how Leah has suddenly started to cling to me even harder than normal. She has always been very close with me but with the additional attention Jamie needs to pay to Micah for feeding, Leah is trying to comfort herself to the fact that even though Micah is here, mom and dad still love her.

It will be an interesting ride to parent two kids. I can't believe how much the dynamic changes...

And Then There Were Four...

2007-12-10T15:18:00.000-06:00

It's hard to believe it happened already, but here's our new son Micah Joseph Coenen. It was pretty crazy how it happened. Let me explain.

On Friday, Jamie and I brought Leah to the doctor for Leah's bout with eczema. After the appointment, we were on our way back home from the hospital (a 40 minute drive) and Jamie said she wasn't feeling good. We figured it was just an upset stomach as Jamie is prone to car sickness.

When we got home, Jamie went and laid down and I fed Leah dinner and gave her a bath. Soon, Jamie was getting sick and complain of stomach cramps. We called a friend of ours who was going to act as a midwife for Jamie and she said we should probably go back to the hospital and bring along everything we need in case we need to deliver on the road. (Yeah, that part freaked me out a little.)

At the hospital, the checked Jamie and found her to be 4 cm and full effaced. For Tim and others who do not speak pregnant-ese, that means the baby is getting ready to be delivered. At this point Jamie is having contractions regularly and is getting sick quite a bit. She is pale and dehydrated.

I called a friend to come and take Leah to spare her the ugly side of childbirth. She brought Leah home and my mom eventually took over for her. It was comforting to know Leah was squared away during this process.

After two full saline bags via IV, Jamie was moving along. The doctor broke her water and suddenly the contractions doubled in intensity and duration. It was pretty rough. Jamie told me at one point this was our last kid and that if we had another, I would be delivering it. Like I said, it was pretty intense.

We opted for Jamie to get an epidural at this point because the pain was really intense and due to the dehydration, Jamie just didn't have the energy to cope with the contractions. As the doctor administered the medication, Jamie was sitting up in bed and continued to labor.

Shortly after she laid back down, the doctor came in confused why Jamie was still in so much pain. He checked Jamie and found she was fully dilated and at a +2 (out of 5). In other words, it was time to push. 3 contractions later, Micah was out and in great shape. The total process took 4 hours compared to the 8 with Leah's birth. Pretty amazing.

Now we are learning how to integrate this new member of the family into everything. So far Leah has been very good about loving her brother despite the attention his getting. I am eager for them both to grow up together and learn to be a family with us.

Here are some photos from the big day. It still feels like such a blur. Heck, this whole year feels like a blur, and these last few days are just a smudge in it.

The Irrational World of Worry

2007-11-24T09:10:00.000-06:00

For the past two weeks, my life has been more consumed by worry than any other emotion. While most people would have probably considered it a rational feeling for the situation I was in, I am always disappointed in myself when my lack of faith and trust in God allows me to believe He is not in control or that He will not do all things for good no matter the outcome.

Granted, this belief does not guarantee the safety of loved ones or my success (in my view) in all situations. And this is probably why my level of worry was just so high.

The cause of my worry was the same as it is for many people; a meeting with a doctor. While I trust the medical profession probably more than any other I interact with, it is hard for me to imagine that they all realize how much meaning and impact their words have on everyone they see. People rarely go to the doctor to hear just good news. They go there for the truth and the reality of a situation to get clarity of what the future holds.

When we went to the doctor for an ultrasound a few months ago, the doctor told us that our baby to be had a slight problem they would be monitoring in the coming months. Apparently the growth of the uterer (a tube that goes from the kidney to the bladder) had grown too quickly which can result in some complications. It was looking like we would have to deliver the baby very early so the medical staff could do surgery.

For weeks we lived with this information with little incident. When we went to a follow-up appointment two weeks ago, the ultrasound appeared to show that things had taken a turn for the worse. The size of the uterer had gone from a "5" to a "9." In most cases, numbers mean something to me, but in this case I was never given an explanation so I was left to wonder just how bad the situation was.

As we waited for an appointment with a specialist to give us a second opinion two weeks later, our lives were consumed with stress and worry of the situation. It is never comfortable to have no control of a situation, especially when it involves one of your children. As a dad, I wanted to protect my son, but all I could do was pray and trust.

When we saw the specialist, it was clear that this issue was far less dangerously than we had made it out to be in our minds. The doctor told us that this is one of those cases that ultrasounds can be a bless and a curse and in this case it was a curse. The ultrasound they did showed the uterer to be between a 5 and a 6 (which I also learned is the measurement of the diameter of the uterer in tenths of a centimeter) which is on the borderline of a problem, but not worth delivering early.

So in the end, all things worked for good. Our baby is fine, we are all anxiously awaiting his healthy arrival and I am again reminded that my ability to worry will never out perform God's ability to heal and help those in need.

It's a Timeshifted Life

2007-11-06T21:49:00.000-06:00

This is one of those topics that I have meant to blog about for a long, long time, but I never really got around to it. Kind of ironic once you read the rest of my post.

When I was younger, I remember a time when schedules meant something. For any of your entertainment needs, you needed to be ready to commit a timeslot to it. Then, as a nation, we participated together.

This often led to a cultural mindset around a common experience. We all watched Saturday Night Live at 10:30 PM (CST) on Saturday night. We all watched the Packer game at 12:00 PM on Sunday after church.

Occasionally you would meet someone who would record things on a VCR and it was almost a game to tell them a little about what they taped without giving away the entire show. It was cruel, but it was the way we did things.

Now things have changed. With the proliferation of Tivo and other similar DVR units, it is no longer a common experience that we rally around. Instead, it is the norm for everyone to "Tivo" their various shows and then watch them a day later with no commercials. While this is convenient, it has caused some interesting changes to the American entertainment psyche.

For example, it is now almost a sin to release a "spoiler" now. It used to be a great common experience to share what happened on the latest episode of your favorite show, but now if you even start to mention Lost or 24 in a crowded room, you will more than likely get stopped as if you are violating some sort of classified information restriction.

Also, while we are watching less commercials thanks to timeshifted viewing, I am willing to wager we watch more TV overall. Now that we can record multiple shows on multiple channels at any time of day, the inventory of "my shows" has increased for most people. My wife and I installed a 100 hour DVR two weeks ago. Do you know how long it took to fill it? Sadly, 1 week. Are we abnormal? Perhaps, but I'm sure we are not alone.

Finally, and perhaps the most obvious, the good part of the DVR. Thanks to watching shows we both care about, carving out time to simple watch TV is much more desirable for me and my wife. And for my marriage (and I'm sure countless others) this shared bonding time is pretty important. Even if it is in front of a TV.

My Bird Feeder Eats Birds

2007-11-01T13:43:00.000-05:00

We had a nice day outside on Tuesday raking leaves and chasing Leah around the yard. Leah really enjoyed jumping in the leaf pile which was cute, but not very productive. Thankfully, cute wins out every time.

While we were raking, we heard a loud pecking sound. I assumed it was a misguided woodpecker, but I was surprised to see what was actually making the noise. I'm not really sure how this happened, but a bird ended up inside our bird feeder. I think it was trying to get the last few seeds in the feeder and eventually ended up in the plexiglass prison. Pretty funny. We released the bird with no problem and promptly refilled the feeder to prevent it from happening again.

This afternoon I went over the handle bars on my bike. Thankfully I was able to roll over to my shoulder to avoid landing on my head. I still have several cuts and road-rash all over my body. I'm sure I'll be even more sore tomorrow.

As for the beard, it is coming along nicely...

Beard-A-Thon 2008

2007-10-25T09:24:00.000-05:00

It's that time of year again. As anyone who lives in an area with more trees than people, I am in the midst of my late season beard growth. Last year I made it to Thanksgiving before I decided to trim down to a sweet mustache (for five minutes). I'm hoping this year I can make it to Christmas, but I'm not making any promises. I'm clearly not a beard kind of guy with my lack of firearm skills and overall unwillingness to cutdown trees with an axe accompanied by Babe the Blue Ox.

I also apologize for my appearance being so similar to head coach of the New England Patriots, Bill Belichick, but some days you just need to look like an unkempt homeless person to feel comfortable.
I'll try to give a bi-weekly update on the beard progress. This is why the internet exists.

Dear Teeth: I hate you.

2007-10-11T20:27:00.000-05:00

Dear Teeth:
Hi Teeth! How are you? I'm doing pretty good. Wasn't that a great meal tonight? Thanks for all the chewing and what not. You're the best.
One thing though. You know those guys way in the back? No, not you molars, we're cool. The one's next to you. Yeah, those, uh, "wisdom teeth." (Self-righteous jerks...) Well, it turns out they are causing some problems.
I know what you're thinking, "Hey, wisdom teeth might have some problems, but they're part of the team!" Well, guess what? It turns out we don't even need them. Yeah, I don't know if you noticed but there are 32 of you guys. Do you really think 28 is suddenly going to cause us to starve? Of course not.
With that said, I want to apologize for what is going to happen on Wednesday. It's going to be crazy and probably a little scary for all involved, but it'll be alright. I promise a steady diet of ice cream, pudding and apple sauce for at least a day. No work for you guys at all!
Please give my regards to gums, taste buds and hangey-down thing.

Sincerely-

Nick

Forwarding to the Divine

2007-09-24T20:21:00.000-05:00

I lost a mother-in-law, a friend and a role-model today.

Click Here.

The Best Four Months of the Year

2007-09-01T08:40:00.000-05:00

Today is September 1. Today is also the start of Badger football. Today is a great day.

I look forward to football season so much that it is almost like a little kid waiting for Christmas. I know what is coming, I can see it coming, and still I am excited to finally get to watch football again.

This year should be particularly exciting too since the Badgers start the year ranked 7th in the nation. While these preseason ranks should mean very little, they actually have a huge impact on the season. It is usually so difficult to move up the ranks that getting a start inside the top 10 actually makes winning a national championship possible.

While a few great players left after last year, the main star from last year remains; PJ Hill. I am really looking forward to seeing his career continue and the possibility of him winning a Heisman at some point in his career.

Today is going to be a long day of work knowing what is waiting for me at home. I have a feeling I'll be leaving work a little early today. :)

Alone

2007-08-28T17:16:00.000-05:00

It's funny how appealing some alone time looks until you have it. I love my family immensely, but the extra time to do leisure activities (aka endless videogame marathon) is incredibly empty and unrewarding.

Jamie and Leah are in Appleton visiting Jamie's mom and I am stuck here at camp since there are people here all week. Even with a slew of new games to distract me, the simple joy of conversation with my wife or wrestling and snuggling with my daughter can never really be substituted.

It's amazing how quickly the struggle to stay busy becomes almost a chore. Without Leah running up to me and grabbing my hand to go do something or simply attacking me with hugs and kisses. Instead, here doing my best to get Mario to jump where I want him to. Not exactly the same personal connection.

I never thought I would say this on a day off, but I'm actually excited to go back to work tomorrow.

Welcome Back Cotter

2007-08-26T20:42:00.000-05:00

Anytime I get work in a Welcome Back Cotter reference, I know it is going to be a good post. Especially when it is the title AND the picture.

After another summer here at camp, life is finally slowing down. I am still only getting one day off a week, but at least the stress levels are down. We had a great summer with extremely high numbers in July. So the work life is good.

The family life is pretty good too. Jamie is continuing to show the signs of pregnancy and the child is growing nicely. It has been great to here the heartbeat and see the ultrasound images. In a level of needed prayer, the ultrasound did show the baby had kidneys that are developing too quickly which may result in emergency surgery at the time of birth. Hopefully the rest of the baby's body catches up to those kidneys.

We also continue to work through the process of Jamie's mom's failing health. It is amazing to me how a strong belief in God can change the outlook of so many in regards to this stage of life. The trust in the hereafter is worth so much right now. Knowing that we will all be rejoined one day gives my heart some comfort. I am eager for a big family dinner in heaven.

In less heavy news, I have found a new favorite internet service. Goozex is a videogame trading site that matches used videogame owners to make trades for only $1 per trade and postal fees. A pretty good deal. I've traded literally about 15 games at this point. Saving me a ton of money. If you want to sign up, use me as a referral and we both get some free points/trades! (Click here if you are interested.)

Other than that, not much going on. Hopefully this is the start of more consistently blogging from me again!

Happy 4th of July!

2007-07-04T23:11:00.000-05:00

Just some photos of us celebrating the 4th of July!

It is hard to believe just how cute Leah is getting. She is learning words so quickly and the way she reasons through things is pretty amazing to watch.

We had a lot of friends come to watch fireworks with us. They were also generous in their popcorn donations to our child.

Beautiful sunset in Harrisville. I'm not sure the name of the lake, but it was pretty. There was also a rainbow as the sun went down.

Leah and I doing some pre-fireworks sparklers. I'm surprised how brave Leah was with them. Even with the sparks hitting her arms, she didn't really flinch. And I only had to tell her not to touch the sparks once or twice.

Decent fireworks for smalltown America. I give it a B- considering their obviously limited budget. D- on the sulfur smoke coming across the lake into our lungs.

Leah did surprisingly well during the fireworks. She struggled at first with the very loud noise, but once we wrapped the blanket over her ears and held her, she watched in amazement. When it was over, I asked her if she like the fireworks and she replied with clapping and excited laughter. A great night for all of us.

The Wonderful Cross

2007-06-24T20:34:00.000-05:00

A cross in an interesting symbol. For me, it is a sign of grace, joy, hope, and unconditional love. On a daily basis, I see the cross and I am relatively unaffected by the overall power of the message of the cross, there is one place that has always had a cross that has brought me to my knees; Pine Lake.

The old, rugged cross that overlooks the worship area has been an icon both figuratively and spiritually for many that have stayed here. Even for myself, it has been a place of profound spiritual commitment.

With this said, it is probably expected that I was nearly brought to tears the other day when I heard from one of our guests that the cross has fallen over.

I suppose it is an inevitability that a wooden cross in the outdoors will at some point collapse, but that doesn't make it easy. As I collected the pieces of the fallen and broken cross, I realized that these pieces of wood represented much more to me than just a symbol. It was a monument of my original commitment to Jesus Christ.

As I found out about this news on Saturday, I really had no time to create a suitable replacement. We had a full camp with Grandparents/Grandkids running around and a majority of my staff taking a day off.

Thankfully, and probably by a bit of divine intervention, there was a man from the camp who had worked at Pine Lake in the late 80s. He too had made a commitment in front of the old cross and understood the importance of this symbol to our ministry work here.

After several hours of work, this man with the help of his 10 year-old son and a few others, a new cross was constructed. He had used the same dimensions as the old cross but used a pine tree for the wood. While this may not be the strongest wood (actually, probably the weakest found here), it does make sense that Pine Lake has a pine cross. And it does look very nice.

The remaining top piece of the old cross is now at our house. It will have a place in our home for as long as I live and will serve as a reminder of my commitment to follow Christ daily.

Wind...it blows.

2007-05-24T14:56:00.000-05:00

When I was a kid, I used to love the wind. One of the happiest moments I have from growing up is flying kites with my dad. It was one of those things we did to bond. These weren't the typical single-string Smurf kites though. They were the two string variety that allowed you to guide the kite through the air.

Now, 15 years later, I still like the wind. However I do not always like the effects of the wind. When you live at a camp, you are typically surrounded by trees, as I am here. You quickly learn that in an environment like this, with wind comes work. The stronger the wind, the more trees and debris liter the ground. As much as I love using a chainsaw, it does get old after a while.

As I was cutting up a large tree today, I was grumbling and thinking through the annoyance of increased wind velocities and the relative flimsy-ness of the trees at this camp. Then, for no apparent reason, I remembered the scripture of John 3:8 which I have always liked.

"The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit."

That kind of put things in perspective for me. I wonder how often in my life the Holy Spirit goes through and blows down the dead trees and branches cluttering my life, and my response is not thankful, rather it is a childish reaction of annoyance. I enjoy the dead things that surround me even though they are not very pretty or even nice to have around.

One thing I have also learned about dead trees is that they tend to fall in the worst places. In theory, a tree has 360 degrees of falling radius, yet it always seems to fall across a road, into a cabin or just in a difficult are to reach.

In my own life, this is manifest by the dead wood falling into the areas of my life that I enjoy such as my family, friendships or just free time. And again, rather than clean up the mess, I grumble and slowly remove as little as I can get away with.

I guess I just need to listen for guidance and start cutting before the Holy Spirit moves so I can do my best to thin out the forest. If all I have left are healthy, strong trees in my life, the wind can blow through with force and all that happens is a beautiful sound of rustling leaves.

That is the sound I want for my life.

Snakes in an Office

2007-04-30T09:19:00.000-05:00

The unthinkable has happened. I have a giant snake loose in the office with me. Yikes.

I suppose this was always possible since we do have a nature area in the same building. I actually have had this recurring thought that someday it will be like that scene in Pee-Wee's Big Adventure when he sees the pet store on fire and starts rescuing animals. He runs back and forth saving everything (including goldfish in little bags) before finally running out with handfuls of snakes and passing out on the sidewalk outside.

In my case, it was much different. This morning I walked past one of the office and saw out of the corner of my eye a snake. Of course I kind of walk-ran the rest of the way down the hall. Then I slowly walked back to the door to look at it.

I know the snake isn't deadly, heck it probably doesn't even bite. But I'm pretty sure "snake-handling" was not in my job description. Especially when the thing is like 3 feet long. Gross.

I have a co-worker coming in to pick it up. If you do see a post from me soon, I'm probably in this thing's belly.

The Day My Music Died

2007-04-29T20:17:00.000-05:00

Considering I work in an office by myself everyday, it should come as no surprise that I am quite connected to my iPod. I take it with me literally everywhere around camp as I work so I can listen to mostly podcasts and the occasional music.

It has held up surprisingly well considering the daily use. Well, that is until today. Today, my dear friend, the iPod, died.

I was a little panicky when it first happened until I was clear that it was a done deal. I diagnosed the problem using some message board posts and it is clearly a dead hard drive; a fairly common problem I guess.

So a fine mess this is. I looked into a replacement hard drive and if I do the repair myself, it will still cost about $90 for the hard drive and tools. Ugh. No thanks.

In the interim, my dear wife has offered to let me use her 2 GB iPod nano she got for Christmas. While I was skeptical at first, it looks like it will be a perfect fit. I was able to fit all of my podcasts and the only playlist I actually use (Last 100 Added Songs) with about 1 GB left.

So here is my new question. Why fix my old iPod for $90 when I can get one just like my wife's for about $110? In addition to that, the iPod nano does not use a hard drive that can be corrupted. It uses solid state flash memory which can handle my active routine a little better.

With that said, I think it is clear what my next iPod purchase will be when the time is right.

God's Timing, Not Mine

2007-04-20T11:28:00.000-05:00

It's hard being human. To have my desires constantly changing like the wind to be happier, better and/or more successful is a frustrating place to be. As normal as it is, why can't my desires fall more in line with what God wants for me?

Clearly it's a lack of obedience on my part. With the realization that I have now committed my life (and my family's life by proxy) to ministry, I am eager to know where I will go to serve Christ. Granted, I am already doing His work in this great place, but for some reason the grass is always greener...

So what spurred all these thoughts/emotions? Well, I had another church call me about being a youth pastor a few days ago. I have had several now which is very flattering and if circumstances were different, I would entertain the thoughts more seriously. I have a desire to serve youth and encourage and enrich their lives with the truth of Christ, but in what capacity that will take is so unclear.

I know I am only 26. I know my life is in the hands of the same Creator who put amazing ministry in the lives of ordinary people (see the entire Old Testament and the 12 disciples). I know that I have a great wife and family who will trust in God and my discernment to determine where the next stop in ministry will be.

I just can't handle the waiting.

I have so much I can do in my current ministry and I always hear positive feedback about how this place is changing and improving since I arrived less than a year ago. But I still feel like God has something more in the way of direct ministry than this. Maybe someday that door will open and I will actually hear God calling to encourage me it is time to take that next step.

What I Learned About Febrile Seizures

2007-04-11T15:41:00.000-05:00

With the sudden spike in my blogs readership (from 2 people to 4), I think it is important to share what we have learned about Leah's seizures since Saturday's scary activity.

First off, Leah is doing very well. She ended up not even having a bladder infection, rather just a virus which hit her pretty hard for being such a small kid. She is back to being as playful as ever, only I feel like she is more attached to Jamie and me now. That is certainly a welcome change after the scare we all had.

If we knew then, what we know now about febrile seizures, I think our reaction would have been much different on Saturday. The reality is that despite how scary it all was, Leah really was in no danger. In fact, the only time she really was in danger was when we laid her on her back because it caused her to start suffocating on her own saliva. Had we laid her on her side, she would have gone through the convulsions and ultimately been fine.

When we brought Leah back to the hospital on Monday, we were given a brochure that told us a lot about febrile seizures and just how common they are. Most of that information can be found in this link (http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/febrile_seizures/detail_febrile_seizures.htm) and I strongly recommend all parents of young kids give it a read. It is not meant to scare, but just to inform. I know I would have appreciated it.

Thanks for all the prayers and kind words shared through email and comments. We are all doing great and looking forward to the joy a new child will bring us in addition to the ongoing adventure it is to be the best possible Dad that Leah can have.

The Easter Story

2007-04-08T13:31:00.000-05:00

**Disclaimer - I apologize if this story catches anyone off guard. It is difficult to call everyone who deserves calling when things like this happen. I hope you can forgive me if this is the first place you get this news.

Every year I struggle with the same thing. As Easter approaches, I try desperately to try and make it more personal for myself. The mere thought of this holiday, the death and eventual resurrection of the man/God I call my savior, makes it seem this would be easy. In many ways, this should be more personal than Christmas.

And yet I have struggled. I have struggled to allow the loving God I know to truly penetrate my heart on this day. It may be out of fear, or pride, or simply a lack of focus. However that all changed yesterday.

It started as a relatively normal day. The night before Leah woke us up with a very high fever which we attributed to her ongoing teething. We gave her Tylenol, cooled her down, and went to bed.

The next day I was in the office as usual. My mom was visiting from Appleton and went with Jamie and Leah to a birthday party for one of Leah's friends. As I was finishing up my work for the day, I heard the horn from our car repeatedly. I looked out the window to see Jamie driving our car quickly towards the office, frantically waving me outside.

I ran outside and met her as she was yelling to me "Leah's not okay!" through her tears. I ran to the side of the car and saw Leah in her car seat, convulsing. My mom was at her side, unsure what to do. To be honest, none of us knew what to do.

We quickly brought her inside the office and Jamie held Leah as I called 911. I told the dispatcher about the situation and watched as Leah shook and her eyes rolled back into her head. This was bad. Her breathing was labored and her body was very rigid.

It seemed like the ambulance was never going to arrive. I watched as Leah suddenly went limp and her lips turned blue. She appeared to stop breathing for a few seconds and as we leaned her forward a stream of bubbles and saliva fell from her mouth. She was suffocating. Now that she could breath again, her color returned.

"What is taking them so long to get here?" I thought, "Dear God, don't let my daughter die. I can't handle this. I love her too much."

And then I saw a truck pull towards the office. I quickly waved them inside where Leah was conscious, but not very coherent. I couldn't help but wonder if my daughter was going to be mentally handicapped from the trauma.

I watched as first responders quickly gave her oxygen and slowly brought life back to Leah. She was crying now but still had a distant look in her eyes. Was she ever going to recover from this?

Several hours later, after numerous tests at the Portage hospital, we would learn that Leah suffered a seizure from a sudden spike in her temperature. The fever she had was not just teething. She had a bladder infection that had spread through out her body. There was no real way for us to predict this, but all the same we can't help but feel responsible to some degree.

Fast forward to the next day (Easter Sunday) and Leah is doing much better. Her fever is down and she is back to herself. She even enjoyed finding Easter eggs hidden throughout the living room this morning (filled with dried fruit).

As I went to Portage this morning to pick-up Leah's prescription, I couldn't help but think about how this feeling of almost losing a child is what Easter is really about. The feeling of hopeless, no-control, chaos is the Easter story. How do you think the disciples felt as they watched Jesus commit himself to die? How do you think even Pontius Pilate felt as he washed his hands of the entire situation? This man was going to die and nothing could save him.

When I saw Leah so lifeless and limp, I could do nothing to save her. I could not breath life back into her. It was only be the grace of God that the human body restarts from a seizure.

I walked into the house with Leah's prescription in hand and as I took my shoes off, Leah walked up to me with a something in her hand (as she often does). I reached down and looked at her gift to me. It was a pregnancy test. With two lines. We are having another child.

So as usual, I am forced to revise my thoughts on God. The Easter story is not about the hopelessness, the lack of control or chaos. It is about new life. It is about the gift God gives us through the grace of His son and the love He has for His children.

It has been an overwhelming 24 hours. But I feel as though I understand the loss and gain of Christ so much clearly today than I ever did or could before. Thank you for the plan of salvation and escape from death Lord.

1 Corinthians 15:50-57
I declare to you, brothers, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God, nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable. Listen, I tell you a mystery: We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed— in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. For the perishable must clothe itself with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality. When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: "Death has been swallowed up in victory."

"Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?" The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

Today's Forecast: Gray

2007-04-04T14:07:00.000-05:00

This weather is killing me. It was actually snowing here today. After 80 degrees on the weekend, we get snow today? And this is why I hate spring. Fall is similar, but at least then I have had the heat of summer and I'm ready for a break. Right now I'm just sick of cold and wet.

It also makes me incredibly sleepy. Yesterday I had a day off and just sat around and did literally nothing. I played a lot of videogames, but I actually topped out and thought, "Nope, I'm done. I don't want to play anymore." And if you really know me you know that is bad.

At this point I am so eager for summer. I know that means I will be incredibly busy, but I'd rather that than my current situation. I just want to enjoy the environment I'm in.

And then the sky finally opened...

2007-03-11T12:56:00.000-05:00

When we first moved from Mankato, MN to middle-of-no-where, WI, I was convinced that as a family we could survive. In most ways I was correct. We have adapted. We have learned to live on less.

Except in one area: spiritually. It is easy to think (and I am guilty of it as well) to think that living at a Christian camp would be a constant spiritual renewal. I couldn't be more wrong. Finding a church has been a never ending search for the last 9 months and it looked like we were doomed to a more traditional church with a congregation of elderly folks who could rarely relate to my current life situation.

Well hopefully that changed today. After 4 churches, number 5 seems to be the winner thus far. We kind of found it by accident too. I was looking through the church directory on Relevantmagazine.com, and noticed a listing for Portage, WI. We were already going to a church in Portage, so I was curious which church it was. It was actually a church that was across the street from the church we had been attending for about a month.

The church is Silver Lake Community Church. It is a non-denominational church of about 100 people. There are a lot of younger families, but an overall mix like I wouldn't have expected in a town the size of Portage. The music is contemporary worship using the iWorship series, but the aspirations to have a band are there. The pastor reminds me of a mix of Jay Bakker and Mark Driscoll (more Driscoll though) which is about ideal for me. He is very intentional about reaching marginalized people which I also appreciated.

The schedule is kind of unique too. The church starts with coffee fellowship time for a half hour which allows the smell of coffee to fill the sanctuary and a time to meet with others (which hopefully we can do once we actually meet people). Overall it was a great experience.

And best of all really is that it really felt good to worship. I won't get to go in summer, but they do have small groups on Tuesdays which I could probably attend. We are excited to finally have found a place that just feels like a church home where Christ is exalted and loving fellowship is a priority.

I'm smiling right now. I haven't done that in a while.

Dear H&R Block: I hate you.

2007-02-20T13:00:00.001-06:00

So I thought I was being proactive. I historically wait until the last minute to do my taxes so when I started them last month using H&R Block's online program, I figured I was way ahead of the game. Today I learned I was wrong.

Last year I used H&R Block's competitor, TurboTax. It worked well, but this year I saw that H&R Block offered free filing for low income households (which we certainly apply for). So I went through the paces and finally wrapped up my federal return today. As I finished, I was greeted with an interesting message:

...each state filing will cost $24.95...

Great. Okay. So I'll bite the bullet and pay up. The next screen is what really bothered me though:

...we're sorry, we cannot create state tax filings for those who have lived in more than one state in 2005...

Alright, that sucks. I spent all this time getting my federal return together on here for two reasons; it was free and it would allow me to transfer that data to my state returns. Now that those benefits are gone, I am actually redoing my taxes using TurboTax simply on principle. I refuse to give H&R Block any money after these two surprises.

Happy Valen...Tooth Repair Day!

2007-02-15T19:02:00.000-06:00

If only I had listened to Ali and His Gang...then I might not have had to endure some serious pain on Valentine's Day. I've never been one to really "celebrate" a holiday as lame as Valentine's Day, but my wife and I really went to the other extreme of enjoyment; we had dental work done.

Each of us had two appointments. For my experience I had a cleaning first, and then a filling. Really it was more than a filling. It was kind of like gutting a building and starting over. I think I have about 2% actual tooth left on that one. I was actually supposed to have 4 fillings yesterday, but instead I only had one since this one was so massive. Ugh. My jaw still hurts.

The upside of a filling is to know that it's actually taken care of. I was to the point where I couldn't really enjoy cold foods without discomfort, so I guess that is a plus. I just hope I can keep up the new strict dental hygiene regiment so I don't have many more problems in the future.

Never Plan for an Easy Day

2007-02-08T21:04:00.000-06:00

It seems like all the blogs I read (including my own) got all serious yesterday, so I wanted to make sure I come up for air in my post today.

It's funny how you can plan to have an easy day and it winds up being just the opposite. This weekend at the camp we are not expecting a big crowd by any stretch of the imagination. Probably a total of 10 people in a few cabins who are all doing their own meals.

I am certainly thankful for this break and today when I went to the office I was eager to hit the ground running and get a lot done.

As I walked in the door of the office I was greeted by 6 large boxes of new mugs for the camp store. Okay, I can put these away. It's always fun opening boxes. No problem, right?

So then I hear someone calling for me from down in the office. A semi showed up with our new dining hall tables. Great! We need those tables! Well, it turns out it was a full length semi. For those who have never been to this camp (or probably almost any camp) full length semis are bad news. Typically our roads are so narrow and turn so sharply with trees on the edges that semis struggle to get where they need to go.

After an half-hour of back and forth, the driver realized we couldn't get to where we need to go. Okay, we will just unload and cart them in from a distance. No problem, right?

Well, it wouldn't be normally. As we opened the back of the trailer, the driver looked at me, swore, and then, "This truck doesn't have a power lift. And that load is 1,200 lbs. so we can't use the ramp."

Okay. Problem solving. I guess we just lift each piece down, right? Well, that "we" turned out to be me and the maintenace guy here at camp. The driver "supervised" despite being "way behind schedule."

And that brought us to noon. Then I had to get some butter and a muffin pan for a guest staying in one of the cabins. No problem, but again, just losing grip of the "easy day."

When it was all said and done, this day was really no help in my great battle against the office work waiting for me. It's funny how that works. I will never again plan to get a lot done in a day. Just let it happen.

An Inconvenient Truth - A Christian Perspective

2007-02-07T20:44:00.000-06:00

Jamie and I just got done watching the highly publicized documentary An Inconvenient Truth. I had been meaning to see it for a while but apparently catching up on Will Ferrell and Adam Sandler is more important than the apparent demise of the planet.

While I greatly appreciated the message on a whole, I think Al Gore lost some validity by throwing in an assortment of political overtones. Had it been just straight facts and repercussions, I think it would have been much more accessible for the masses.

The real point of this post though is the burden I feel this movie should have on all Christians (not just environmentalist liberal sorts). As much as I agreed with Bono when he said, "How we respond to the AIDS emergency [in Africa] will describe us for posterity," I think that there is a much larger issue here.

As Christians, we are called to be the caregivers of the oppressed, widowed and orphaned. We are called to be the wise stewards of gifts and talents. We are called to protect the creation God has give us dominion over.

It is a high bar for sure. When we are doing our best to make the most of this life and to simply try and understand the life of Christ, it can be difficult to even make the token trip to the local soup kitchen once a year. It's no wonder the world often has a hard time differentiating Christians from non-Christians in most aspects of life.

But what if we responded to this great obligation in simple ways. What if we were more careful about the resources we used? What if we didn't automatically vote Republican on all issues simply because we once were told it was synonymous with Christian? What if we didn't just do a once a year fund drive for AIDS in Africa, but did a rolling collection that was always reemphasized with achievable goals?

It's a lot of what-ifs, and I know I have a lot of work to do in my own personal life. I guess this movie just started me questioning if God would really be pleased with what He sees from me here on earth and if there is something more I can do to glorify Him more.

-8 degrees F

2007-02-03T20:19:00.000-06:00

You read that headline correctly. It is currently -8 degrees F here. That is without windchill. I actually read with the windchill we were down to -22 this afternoon. On a weekend when we have about 80 people here at camp, it made things interesting. At the end of today, we had to call the tow company for 3 separate cars that were dead in their tracks. So far we haven't had any cabin freeze-ups (knock on wood) but we aren't out of the woods yet. Lots more cold through Wednesday. Fun.

You may also notice yet another addition to the sidebar on the right (the Nick's shared items widget). While it might look like just generic stories are being posted over there, it is actually controlled by what I think is worth a look. Now that I use Google Reader for my RSS feeds, I can choose what I think warrants the attention of others or that I find interesting and have them show up in that column. Kind of a neat addition I think.

"There's no time!!!"

2007-01-16T19:08:00.000-06:00

Now that we are 4 inches buried in snow (which is a good thing since it is already mid-January), the nightlife of Jamie and I largely consists of TV. Sad, but true.

The most obvious viewing right now is the two day 24 hour season premiere which wrapped up last night. It was a good start with some compelling moments including Jack Bauer wrestling with his own mortality after getting out of a Chinese prison. Oh yeah, and they blew up a nuclear bomb at the end of the last show. That always makes for good TV.

The craziest thing about 24 though is all the implausible events an liberties they take with the show. Here is the short list:

1. Jack's cellphone battery life - Seriously, no one has that much talking battery life with out plugging the phone in.
2. CTU's "amazing" computer tricks - Enhancement of a pixelated image doesn't just make it crystal clear. A pixelated image is a pixelated image. Sorry.
3. Terrorists sure know each other well - There is a reason why terrorist groups are successful and this show does not show it. It's not because they are smart or innovative, it's because they are so seemingly un-connected that they are near impossible to track.
4. Jack's support team = death warrant - Alright, next time you are on a tactical squad to help Jack, just don't go. You are going to die, he is going to live.
5. Arabic families are all linked to terrorism - Season 4 & now season 6 have shown arabic families with strong ties to terrorism. The media is having a real hard time showing arab families in non-threatening situations. Kind of sad.

I know it's just a show, but it's just hard to commit to the plot when there are so many red flags going up in my head. Hopefully they can tighten some of this stuff up so I can get drawn in without having to come up for air so often.

Happy Birthday Leah!

2007-01-12T22:22:00.000-06:00

There are few times in life that it is acceptable to eat cake in your underwear. I have to admit, after watching Leah enjoy the chocolate mess, I was a little jealous. A great way to cap off a great year.

The other crazy thing is that Leah suddenly decided walking is a great mode of transportation. She is actually about 50/50 on walking crawling. She even pulls herself up on my leg just to get a starting stance to walk. It's very cute.

I found out that next week I have Martin Luther King Jr. Day off. I haven't had that holiday since high school. Kind of nice.

Also, my GPS unit finally came in the mail today so I am excited to do a few geocaches before the first great snowfall (if we ever get one).

Not much else going on here. Just working, loving the family, serving God...not necessarily in that order.

The longest two days...

2007-01-04T15:02:00.000-06:00

As much as I love and appreciate "time-off," this has been the absolute longest 2 days ever. It's not that my typical time off is this boring. Unfortunately the rest of my family is gone though, so I'm stuck here in the woods trying to basically kill time. It's a horrible thing. So here is a brief list of things I've done.

1. Watched 4 bowl games. The Fiesta Bowl is officially the greatest game I have ever seen in my life.

2. The new show Knights of Prosperity is pretty hilarious in a My Name is Earl/Office kind of way.

3. I beat Psychonauts. I got this game for Christmas. Like, a week ago. Great game, but sad I beat it already.

4. I killed two mice by reinventing the conventional mouse trap. Put peanut butter under the bait bail with a toothpick and snap off the toothpick to make it difficult for the mouse to clean off the trap without it's neck being snapped. I know, I'm pathetic and inhumane.

5. I have watched the Packers/Bear game twice. I can't get enough of that game. Just priceless.

6. I have done countless loads of laundry and dishes in hopes that my wife will have little to nothing to do when she gets home.

7. I cleaned up the garage. Even though it was already clean.

I'm sure there are more things that are pointless, but I can't think of any right now. Oh yeah, I slept until 11 am yesterday too. Okay, I'm done. And pathetic.

The Christmas Haul

2006-12-30T09:47:00.000-06:00

While I think we all know that Christmas is much more than a time to give and receive presents, my inner child is still enjoying the many new toys that appeared under the Christmas tree with my name on it. In addition to these, I also have my birthday gifts to enjoy as well. In other words, I am in gift overload.

It's funny too. I actually told Jamie on the way to Appleton for Christmas that I wished I had put more "practical" items on my Amazon Wish List instead of just videogames and books. Fortunately my family cares too much about me to let me become a hermit and got me some great gifts to enjoy the outdoors too.

So without further ado, here are some of the highlights of the gifts I am enjoying. This list is in no particular order so please do not be offended if your gift came in "second place" according to this. It's just a list. I love them all.

Dead Rising - Any game that allows the player to run over zombies with a lawnmower is okay in my book. I've heard the game can become annoying in some ways, but I love killing me some zombies.

Bully - I have always enjoyed movies that show the turmoil of the school years (Breakfast Club, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, etc.), so this game is a great fit for my type of humor.

Snowshoes - While I am doubtful that it will actually snow anytime soon, I am enjoying the prospect of it. I think owning these also scores me some more points towards being a borderline lumberjack.

Garmin GPS - This is actual a return purchase after my dad bought Jamie and I a camcorder. Since we already had a camcorder, I picked up a GPS and got Jamie an iPod. I am excited to do some GeoCaching with this little guy soon. Again, borderline lumberjack.

Velvet Elvis - I have really wanted to read this book by Rob Bell for a while so I can't wait to finish up the last of the Left Behind books to move on to something I actually want to read.

Again, this is just a fraction of the gifts received. I am so ridiculously blessed. Thank you much if you were one of the family members doing the gifting. Rest assured that your gift is helping me keep my sanity in my downtime here at camp.

Songs for Christmas

2006-12-13T13:58:00.000-06:00

When it comes to Christmas music, I am an inherently cynical person. It is very difficult to find something I truly enjoy. The typical Christmas music always seems so trite and commercialized that it just flies in the face of what I view Christmas as. Instead of a truly holy miracle, it is cheapened to a synthetic Santa pulled by plastic reindeer.

For a while I was appeased by the remakes by current Christian artists as I felt they often put emphasis on songs I had otherwise overlooked. However, over the years, that has even worn on me. I was still hearing more production values than their heart.

However, on a recent Relevant podcast, they talked about a new Sufjan Stevens Christmas album. I have always been an outsider on the Sufjan Stevens phenomena, meaning to pick up one of his albums but never quite following through. But after hearing a few of these songs on the podcast, I knew I had to hear the rest.

The songs just sound so authentic. You really get the feeling that he means the words he is singing. That he is happy for the coming of Christ and the eventual salvation that He would provide. It doesn't hurt that the album is huge too. 42 songs huge.

And what would you pay for something like this? $100? $50? How about only $15?!? Yeah. I was shocked too. If you go to Amazon it's like $22, but on iTunes the album download is $15. Crazy. A must buy in my opinion. It will be in heavy rotation for me through the holiday and some songs (Come Thou Fount) will live long past January for me.

Best Free (almost) Mac Apps (con't.)

2006-12-10T14:24:00.000-06:00

Now for the second half of my best free mac apps list. Hopefully you find some nice new software from this list. Feel free to drop me a comment with some more software if you have something you think is great as well.

6. AlphaBaby - Okay, so maybe this isn't my favorite app, but it is my daughter's. I decided that instead of scolding her for her computer curiosity, I have instead found a way to encourage it. Since she does not have the understanding or motor-skills to actual use a computer, I found a program that instead just creates colors, shapes, sounds and letters depending on what keys she hits. If she hits a letter or number, it shows that letter or number in a large bright character. She enjoys the show and hopefully is becoming comfortable with computers at the same time.

7. GoogleNotifier - Back in junior high, I think we all had a hotmail account. It was the universally accepted standard in web-based email. Today, that standard is Gmail. I strongly suggest anyone in the web-based email market get Gmail. It is feature-rich and it works with the ever evolving web 2.0 suite that Google is developing. GoogleNotifier works with Gmail and Google Calendar to post a notification when events or messages are received. A great functionality addition to an already great system.

8. iStumbler - As is the case with most people who are slightly above the computer knowledge curve, it is assumed that I have a telecommunications degree. Whenever someone I know is hooking up a wireless network, I am called with the assumption I know what I'm doing. Thankfully, at this point I do. But I didn't always have the tools I needed. One of those tools that I always use now is iStumbler. It helps locate wireless signals and their strength. I have used is numerous times to diagnose problems and to find the overall signal range of installed networks.

9. gDisk - One additional thing I love about Gmail is the overall storage space. The problem is that I will probably never use even half of the space they allot users. If only you could use this storage for personal use of documents and other media...and that's where gDisk comes in. gDisk is a standalone application that basically creates a directory in your Gmail account for personal storage. Kind of neat.

10. iAlertU - A few years ago Apple decided to put a motion sensor in their line of laptops as a way to protect harddrive failure from dropped laptops. While I'm sure it has helped in that capacity, the real reason I appreciate that sensor is for this next app. iAlertU is quite literally a car alarm for your laptop. Using the remote control, you turn the app on with the classic car alarm sound. Then, if your laptop is moved even slightly, the alarm goes off and it even takes a picture with the built-in iSight camera to catch the perpetrator red handed. I still won't leave my laptop unattended for long, but at a coffee shop it's not a bad security measure.

Well, I hope that is helpful to someone. I strongly recommend anyone on the Mac/PC fence to make the jump. It is a great time to be a Mac owner.

Best Free (almost) Mac Apps

2006-12-06T20:40:00.000-06:00

I have always found lists of the top free Mac apps to be incredibly helpful for me to find new and useful apps that just make my life easier. There are a ton of just incredible programs designed for the Mac OS and each time I find one it helps to validate my love for the OS.

For those of you who are stuck on a PC, I apologize for the worthless nature of this post. (Or maybe this will help you leave the virus plagued jungle!)

1. RapidWeaver - I have been using this program a lot lately as I continue to work on redoing the camp's website. I have been doing web design at an amateur level for a long time now and this is by far the easiest and still feature-rich tool I have ever used. It really allows you to dig in as much or as little as you want and have a great looking site regardless of your decision.

2. FolderShare - I know this is a Microsoft program, but it is really pretty ingenious. Here is how it works: I have desktop computer. I have a laptop. I have a work computer. I have a server at work that I sometimes need access to. While I could setup a VPN to access certain files on these computers, that still doesn't allow access to everything on all the computers. FolderShare does. You install this program on each machine and it gives you a listing and search function of every file on every machine. Once you find what you need, you download it. You can also use it to sync folders in multiple locations (like a VPN). Oh yeah, and it's seamlessly cross-platform.

3. Connect360 - The way the Xbox 360 was designed is genius...if you are a PC owner. The machine is capable of pulling music, photos and video off of other computers on your home network. However, if you have a Mac, this feature does not work right out of the box. That is where Connect360 comes in. Now I can listen to any song in my iTunes library while I play. And it preserves all of my playlists, genres, etc. And I can listen to podcasts. Amazing.

4. VirtueDesktops - Ever get bogged down in layer-upon-layer of application windows? I always do. Between email, internet, word processing, and some graphics program, it gets difficult to navigate what's going on. With VirtueDesktops you create seperate workspaces that flip as you change applications. You can setup common applications to be on the same workspaces so email is always open with Word and so on. It really helps productivity.

5. iPhoto Library Manager - The one downside of the entire world switching from traditional to digital photography is the storage. Sure, it seems like storing photos on a computer is more sensible that dozens of green and red photo albums, but there was another side effect to digital photography: more pictures. These two factors combine to create gigantic photo libraries. This app helps you by splitting your iPhoto Library into separate libraries making it easier to navigate and operate iPhoto.

That is enough for now. I actually have a list of 10, so if you really want to see 6-10, you'll have to check back soon!

The Deadliest of Snowshoes

2006-12-02T19:14:00.000-06:00

This is one of those stories that you wish you could undo, but at the same time, it is perfect for blogging.

So today in the office I decided to make the transition from fall decorations (pumpkins and scarecrows) to winter decorations (wreaths and trees). The real motivation for this was a pair of old snowshoes that my father-in-law gave to me. I have been eager to have them up in the office as a decoration and also to get them out of my office.

Ideally I wanted to hang the snowshoes in a criss-cross (not to be confused with 90's rap all-stars Kriss-Kross) fashion on the wall. It couldn't be that hard, right? So I got out some string and tied them together. After several minutes of fighting with them to get them just right, I realized I didn't need string at all, I needed some wire.

Being the burly woodsy guy that I am, I decided it would be faster to pull the snowshoes apart, rather than untying them. It was just kite string, right?

So I started pulling. I guess I didn't really realize just how hard I was pulling though. That is, I didn't realize until the string eventually snapped and sent one of the snowshoes right into my forehead. Ouch.

I just stood there stunned for a second. Did that really just happen? I reached up and felt my handywork and found a nice welt where I was hit.

After swallowing my pride, I tried to get some more work done. After about a half-hour though, my head was hurting pretty good and it was already 4 pm. So I went home.

When Jamie saw me, the first thing I said was "I got attacked by a snowshoe." After she stopped laughing she told me I had a red mark where it hit me. I didn't even think to look in the mirror, but sure enough, there it was.

Now my only fear that I will wake up with a big bruise or even a black eye from a freakin' snowshoe. Great.

Sick Day

2006-11-30T19:37:00.000-06:00

I don't think I actually ever felt as bad as the guy in the illustration looks, so consider it an "artist rendering." I did have to take a sick day today though. I don't really feel bad though. I haven't taken a sick day since I moved back to Wisconsin in May. Before that, I was being ravaged by sickness pretty regularly in Mankato. I guess that's one of the perks of living away from civilization.

In an unrelated story (no really, I'm serious) my Xbox 360 came yesterday afternoon. I was to incapacitated to really enjoy it, but I'm pretty excited for Christmas and the eventual addition of some new games. Boy I'm nerdy.

Sorry for the short post, but all I did today was sleep and be babied by my great wife. My new visualization of heaven is surprise chicken noodle soup when you wake up from a nap on the couch.

Best...Thanksgiving...Ever.

2006-11-23T13:08:00.000-06:00

Why do I love Thanksgiving? Well, besides the food, the football, the family, and the inevitable turkey coma I will slip into later this afternoon, it's the sales.

I have had pretty good luck in the past getting decent deals. Nothing huge, but the typical free stack of cds or a big discount on a present for someone else. Never did I get a great deal for myself though. Until today.

The fine folks at Amazon were running a deal today at 1 pm to get a Xbox 360 core system for $100 instead of the typical $300. They only have 1,000 at this price, so I didn't really think I had a chance.

But like a glutton for punishment, I clicked away at the refresh button in hopes of winning the lottery. At about 12:57, the Amazon site locked up and I knew it was over.

But wait...what is this? I got through! I couldn't believe it. Sure, I still have to pay $100, but it's a great deal. And best of all, it makes the decision of PS3 or Xbox 360 really easy.

Time to go update my Amazon Christmas list...

The Great De-Bearding of 2006

2006-11-21T12:52:00.000-06:00

It's funny how the city can change you. I mean, when you are in the woods, a beard seems like a perfectly natural response to the bitter cold. However, when you are in the city for a few days, that inclination starts to change.

And my wife doesn't like it.

So off it came. But not without a little fun in the process. I have never attempted a true full beard before so this was uncharted territory of grooming. Enjoy.

So here we are with the full beard. I personally think it adds about 10 years to my overall age and give the impression that I can wrestle grizzly bears with my bare hands.

From there we go to the Rail Baron look. Actually I just copied the grooming off this guy on a boardgame from the 1970s. This look made me want to drink Milwaukee's Best and watch NASCAR.

Here I am with just the mustache. This look reminds me of my dad and most police officers. It made me feel like I should be chasing robbers or being a math teacher.

And here I am back in my clean shaven glory. Back to looking like I'm 12 years-old. Ugh. At least my wife and daughter will let me kiss them again though.

Ouch

2006-11-14T10:15:00.000-06:00

Okay, so as usual, this is not the actual picture, but I did have a small accident last night. As I went to go get the camp truck to bring the day's garbage from the dining hall to the dumpster, I hit a tree. Not like, full on, but I did clip the back end of the truck on it.

So how did this happen? Well, there were many factors. First, I am stressed out. We are currently serving one of our most important groups of the year. Also, I am due for a day off and am anxiously looking forward to a vacation. Also, the truck was parked in an unusual location. It was parked very close to some trees instead of it's normal position. Also (that's right, 3 alsos in a row), it was pitch black out.

When I started the truck I turned the corner and felt the tail end hop to the side. I figured I hit a rut and didn't worry about it. Later I went and looked at the back of the truck and was shocked to see a big dent in the side. It doesn't affect the performance of the truck, but it does look kind of bad.

I really beat myself off when stuff like this happens. My coworkers are very understanding, but I'm my own worse critic. I'm getting better now, but please pray for me to let this go.

Two Wins!!

2006-11-13T10:13:00.000-06:00

It's a rare occasion. It seems this year that whenever the Badgers win, the Packers lose, or vice-versa. I like to think of it as how I remain humble and remember that each win can be followed by a loss.

But not this weekend. In two HUGE games, the Badgers go to Iowa and win (which is a huge win) and the Packers go to Minnesota and win. Wow. Just wow. And to make matters even better, with all the college football shake-up, the Badgers jumped up to number 10 in the BCS. If they can hold onto this 1 loss record, they will be in great shape at the end of the season.

Now the Packers, that's different. I'm still not getting too over excited. This is such a young and inexperienced team that I am never surprised when they seem to lose their head and have a coverage break down. Hopefully they can tighten this all up and next year do some damage.

Which brings me to Favre. Suddenly people are saying, "hey, he's playing pretty good. Why not 5 more years?" Well, maybe not 5, but McCarthy did say he would like him to consider at least 2. I'm not arguing against that logic, I just think it's an interesting change of heart for all the critics. Heck, I even picked him up on one of my fantasy teams since he is playing so well lately.

We'll see with next week though. The Packers are playing at New England who just lost to the Jets. I'm pretty sure they are going to be an angry team. Great.

Off Hiatus

2006-11-11T15:35:00.000-06:00

It's hard to believe that it's actually Blogger that remotivated me to start blogging again. But with this new drag-and-drop layout, it is pretty easy. I typically despise WYSIWYG layout since it is so limited, but in this case I welcome it. Anything that allows me shorten the time and not totally sacrifice my content is appreciated.

So what have I been up to? Well, working. It turns out the true active season of this camp is from May to late November, not October as previously advertised. It's a great problem to have, but it has kept me on my toes and allowed for little rest in the mean time. I am eager for the rest that Thanksgiving will bring.

I was close to posting last week after the recent Wisconsin election results as well. As a Christian, it was pretty embarrassing. I have often distanced myself from the typical Evangelical outlook on politics, and this only reinforced my reasoning.

It kills me how much Christians missed the boat this year. While many churches were busy taking up their issue of being strongly against same-sex marriage, they may have missed the bigger issue: the death penalty. Even the church I attend here in Westfield was guilty of it. They encouraged people to put up little signs in their yard to vote "yes" on the same-sex marriage bill, but they never even mentioned the death penalty. I have to think that if Jesus was at those polls he would have been much more adimate about the killing of people than anything else.

But I'm off my soapbox now. I am really enjoying the college football season right now. All this crazy stuff is happening in the top 10 and Wisconsin is slowly creeping up the list. I think they are the most under the radar team in the top 25 right now. I'm not thinking national championship or anything, but a top 10 finish isn't out of the question.

Hope all is well out there. Hopefully I can get more consistent with this thing again.

Netflix Review: Anger Management

2006-09-28T15:18:00.000-05:00

I actually meant to do this a while ago, but I figured I would start reviewing my Netflix selections for all of the world to appreciate. I'm far from an expert movie critic, but at least you have an average guy's analysis.

So Anger Management. When I first saw the trailer for this movie several years ago I figured it was nothing more than another vehicle for Sandle-esque shenanigans. For this reason I wasn't really motivated to see it in the theater. Now that I have seen the movie I am glad I went with my gut instinct.

Don't get me wrong, I love Sandler movies. I own a few and can quote most of them. However, when you have Sandler opposite Jack Nicholson, you sort of have expectations. For...how do you say...a good movie?

The plot for this movie is pretty weak. It was pretty obvious where this was going from the start and no real surprises along the way. The only saving grace is the expected one-liners from Sandler and a surprisingly funny Nicholson. It was also interesting seeing Nicholson in a therapy group reminiscent of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.

I gave the movie 4 out of 5 stars, but I don't think I'd want to see it again for at least a year.

Eating Like Hippies

2006-09-28T09:28:00.000-05:00

As I took my fifth piece of homemade beef jerky from a canning jar, it dawned on me: we are eating like hippies.

I guess it all started when Jamie started making our own baby food. I was all for it since it is a ton cheaper and in most cases probably better for Leah. Little did I know that was only the beginning.

This past weekend my mom came to visit to make applesauce. It is a yearly tradition that I can remember since I was a kid. The smell of applesauce being made is hard to beat. There is never a better day to take a nap than when that smell is in the air.

This same weekend, Jamie started using a food dehyrator from her mom at an insane level. She made dehydrated apples, bananas, fruit leather (aka fruit roll-ups), and of course beef jerky. I am personally a huge fan of the fruit leather and beef jerky.

Last night I was getting ready to throw away some grapes that we were clearly not eating, but instead we are dehydrating them in to raisins. At this point we discussed the fact that we should start dehydrating any fruits or vegetables that we are not eating fast enough. For example, if we have onions or green peppers, dehydrate them and later use them in soup or chili.

As practical as this all sounds, it really reminds me how much my mentality has changed since moving here. We really rarely spend money and when we do it is almost a challenge to see how far we can stretch it. It's kind of nice being frugal and just paying off debt.

Even if it means we turn into tree-hugging hippies.

A Rough Rainy Day

2006-09-23T19:03:00.000-05:00

I'm not sure what that is a photo of, but it captured how I felt today. In addition to the rather depressing rain, I also just did not feel like serving people today. On a typical day, I will bend over backwards to help anyone who stays here to enjoy their time. It's not only my job, but as a steward of this great place it is also my responsibility.

But today I didn't want to. I know God never said "well, serve with all your heart when you feel like it." In fact, he said something much different than that.

In Romans 12 it says just the opposite.

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship.

I read once that the worst part of a living sacrifice is that they keep trying to crawl off the altar. I think that is where I am right now. I want to serve God with all my heart, mind, body, and soul, but today it just wasn't there.

The crazy thing is that I have a peace about it as well. I think God is aware of how tired I am and how much my soul is just aching for good worship and fellowship. He knows that I (and my family) are in a dry desert right now.

Tomorrow we are trying yet another church. I am hopeful that God is waiting for us there.

Badgers Vs. Funny-Helmets

2006-09-23T11:15:00.000-05:00

Today the undefeated (and underrated) Badgers take on the number 6 team in the nation, the Michigan Funny-Helmets. I don't have unrealistic hopes for a win, especially after the Notre Dame beating Michigan cranked out last Saturday, but if they can keep it close...

A Disturbing Story Time

2006-09-22T15:17:00.000-05:00

Jamie has gotten in the good habit of reading to Leah. Every day she reads to her before her two daily naps and then before she goes to bed.

On Wednesday we all went to the local library and checked out a stack of books so we had some more variety of books to read to Leah. Some of the classics such as the Bearenstein Bears and Babar made the list along with several we had never heard of. Such as the book pictured above.

Well, yesterday we sat down to read to Leah during my lunch break. The book started out innocent enough. A heart warming story about a dad playing guitar with his two kids. Then the next page talked about how the dad sometimes drank beer and acted funny.

Now, normally this would raise a red flag for me since it is a kids book. However I dismissed it thinking it was probably written by a Wisconsinite who thought this was acceptable for a kid's book. Fair enough. I can be open minded.

So we turn to the next page. Here it talks about dad and mom fighting and mom accusing dad he is an alcoholic.

Huh. This is an odd book.

We quickly flip through the rest of the pages and see at the end of the story that dad is checking into AA. Apparently this book is meant for a very specifc audience.

While Leah is certianly too young to understand this story, I would probably be okay with rereading this to her later in life. The story really painted an accurate and understandable picture of living with alcohol abuse and I can see why the author wrote it.

It was just kind of surprising to find it mixed in with Richard Scary and Curious George.

Too much TV!!!

2006-09-21T08:32:00.000-05:00

Having a DVR is such a mixed blessing. While I truly enjoy being able to watch the shows I want and skip commercials, it also gives you too much power. With the recent crop of actually good shows (Studio 60, Heroes, Survivor, Biggest Loser, Jericho, The Office, etc.), my wife and I are suddenly buried in TV. And that doesn't even bring our Netflix into the picture.

As nice as this problem is, it also kind of stresses me out. I never thought I would feel the "need" to watch TV, but I almost feel obligated to watch my recorded shows in a timely fashion. There is no actual expiration or rule that we have to watch shows quickly, but it does feel that way.

So here is my new plan: only watch 1 show a night. While that will put us way behind (see? I treat it like it's work or something), it is probably for the best of our family and it will help us to appreciate the now dwindling daylight.

So tonight's show is The Office, with Survivor being recorded. Maybe we can holdout and watch Survivor tomorrow....This is going to be painful.

Jesus Camp

2006-09-18T20:47:00.000-05:00

I was updating our queue on Netflix yesterday and saw a banner that caught my eye. Apparently there is a new movie coming out called "Jesus Camp." It's actually more of a documentary, but anyways...

Since I work at what could be labeled a "Jesus Camp" it of course caught my eye. The sad thing is that even before I investigated it I knew what I was going to find. Go check out the trailer here and then come back.

So really I can see both sides of this. On the one hand, yes, Christian camps are meant to strengthen the youth of America in their Christian beliefs. I don't think that is anything too earth-shattering.

On the other hand, the comparisons to Palestinians and the military-style performance were kind of off-putting. If I were on the outside viewing this film, I could certainly see how Christians could be labeled fanatical and even closer to Islamic extremists than I think we would like.

It's funny (and sad) how Christians are often portrayed in mainstream media.

Death From Above!!!!!!

2006-09-17T19:56:00.000-05:00

Well, after an enjoyable evening of walking in Westfield (discovering a nice cross country trail and finding that Westfield HS actually has an 18 hole disc golf course), Jamie, Leah and I were on our way home to eat some dinner and watch the Amazing Race. It was a great end to a pretty great night.

And then it happened...well almost.

As we were driving down County Road M, it was really about the same as every other drive. We saw a few deer and I, as always, almost forgot about a rather sharp curve. No big deal.

Then, out of the darkness, this giant flash of white, gray and black comes from the right side of the road. I slam on the brakes and kind of cringed as I figured we were definitely going to hit this "thing." Time slowed down like the Matrix or one of the other hundered movies and videogames that use the stop-motion. I then realized what was going to end up in my lap: an owl.

I've hit raccoons, opossums, rabbits, squirrels and an assortment of birds, but never an owl. And I still haven't. Some how we missed it by literally inches. It was to the point where we could clearly make out the feather patterns when it pulled away from my side of the windshield.

After the shock wore off, Jamie and I joked about the awkward call to the insurance company we would have had to make.

"Yeah, hi, American Family? This is Nick. We hit an animal with our car last night...no, not a deer...no, not a raccoon...actually...it was an owl."

Thankfully we all survived. That would have been gross, expensive and time consuming. And it's a great story either way.

Eating Rocks

2006-09-16T17:22:00.000-05:00

Last night was great. It started with Jamie, Leah and I going down to the beach to enjoy what is probably one of the last nice days of summer/fall. I have this fear that the weather is just going to take a turn to frigid soon. Maybe I should buy a Farmer's Almanac...

Anyway, Leah has a weird (yet normal) aversion with sticking everything in her mouth. I mean, it's borderline ridiculous. Even when we go grocery shopping I have to have my hands ready like a hockey goalie to stop her constant pecking at the cart handle. Gross.

But back to the story. As we were sitting on the beach, Leah decided that every stone she could wrap her fingers around looked like food. She literally picked up every stone she could. And being the good dad that I am, I would take it from her and fling it behind me.

After a minute or so of this de-rocking on the beach, I realized I could be proactive and actually remove the rocks before she got to them. As kind as I thought this was, she decided to go above and beyond. She started crawling.

And so we crawled together. We meandered the beach and with each half-crawl, she would grab a rock, lift it to her mouth, and then I would take it from her.

It was at this moment that it God spoke to me. In so many areas of my life I try to eat rocks. Even after I realize they are inedible, dangerous and just plain gross, I do my best to eat rocks. When I became aware of God's presence in my life, I was able to more clearly see the rocks and in some cases even feel God take them away from me.

So what do I do? I crawl my way to more rocks. More sin. It's sickening, annoying and it's my human nature. I am really blown away when God uses fatherhood to teach me lessons like this. It happens pretty regularly, but this one really stuck out to me.

Ropes Course

2006-09-15T08:49:00.000-05:00

Okay, so this isn't actually our ropes course, but it is very similar. No high-flying harnesses and helmets. Just elements that are about 12" off the ground. Not too exciting, right?

Well normally it isn't. During the summer you can get in a groove of doing these elements with kids and you learn what things work and what things don't. Experience is a great teacher.

However yesterday was a bit different. Instead of the energetic, wild, junior high age youth, I was facilitating for 8 lethargic, tired, middle-aged adults. It was different.

It's not to say it was a bad experience though. They all went into it with a positive attitude and they tried almost everything I threw at them. Two of the ladies were overweight and they still challenged themselves to laterally traverse the cargo net. A pretty daunting task for someone who was admittedly out of shape. I was very impressed with their determination and at the same time knowing their limits.

I think that is what I learned the most yesterday. While I could sometimes see the fear and apprehension on their faces, they often did their best to try and do the task before them. And it wasn't an issue of pride really, it was just a matter of challenging themselves.

I hope we get more adult groups to do ropes course here. It was really a different and educational experience for me. Hopefully they felt the same as well.

Teething....ugh....

2006-09-14T08:51:00.000-05:00

I think Mr. Mark Twain had this pretty much nailed. Right now Leah is teething and it has quickly gone from bad to worse. Our sweet little girl who was sleeping through the night since her first month of life is now waking up numerous times (like on the hour) during the night since her teeth are so sore. Last night it got so bad that Jamie ended up sleeping next to Leah's door so she didn't have to walk as far to settle her down. I ended up sleeping with a pillow on my head after getting overly frustrated at 2 am.

We spent the last two days in Appleton, WI on my "weekend." It was a nice departure from camp and gave me some quality time with my new work laptop. I still can't believe I was able to get a MacBook for my work laptop, but I think it was the best thing I could get. For doing promotional materials and dealing with all the media of camp (photos, video, etc.) you can't beat a Mac. Alright, done with my commercial.

In Packer news...what the heck is going on?!? Apparently now that the season is a loss (after 1 game) we are picking up alcoholic WR's (Koren Robinson) and getting rid of solid performers (Samkon Gado). I know I will still watch the Packers regardless, but it's much more frustrating as of late.

That's about all for now. Oh yeah, a message to Tim P.: There, I posted. Quit your crying.

No really, I'm going to blog now...maybe.

2006-09-03T19:43:00.000-05:00

I'm not sure I could be any more sporatic of a blogger right now. I really want to be more consistent, but my work load is so inconsistent that it is hard to get in a groove. I keep thinking, "well next month should be better..." and then it isn't. Oh well. At least I'm still posting sometimes, right?

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately, so bear with me if this is kind of "rambly." The more time I spend out here in the woods, the more I am realizing that I am changing as a person. It is nothing of huge magnitude, but there are small things.

First, I know that I am becoming more laid back than I have been in the past. It's n0t that my job is a cake walk, it is actually probably more stressful than my previous job. But the difference is my environment. Being surrounded by nature is so different than being in the city. The fact that I bike to the office past deer and turkeys daily. It's crazy. It's as if God is literally walking/biking right there with me.

Second, I am learning how to cultivate my faith without being able to really go to church. This is not to say I'm denying the need for corporate worship. There is nothing I crave more than worship right now. Unfortunately Sundays are a rather busy day here which is kind of eliminating worship from the schedule for the time being. I am hoping to change that next year as I value worship, but we'll see. For now I am listening to a lot of sermon podcasts and doing daily Bible reading on my personalized Google start page.

Finally, I am realizing how culture and the media really impact their audience. Since we now watch all of our TV on a DVR (skipping most commercials), we have no decent radio stations, and I am removed from year-round youth ministry, I am realizing that I am literally unplugged from most popular culture. Kind of scary for a guy like me.

Thankfully I still have podcasts to help me stay connected. Between the Relevant podcast, several videogame podcasts, and of course every single ESPN podcast.

Speaking of the Relevant podcast, last week they had a great cover of Hey Ya by Outkast. This version is by Obadiah Parker. Since I really wanted the song, but I couldn't seem to find it anywhere, I used some fancy Mac software to chop the song out of the podcast. Not really a big deal, but I did it so we can all appreciate the song. My gift to you for not posting regularly I guess. Wait...I just found a link so I don't have to host it. Enjoy!

Hey Ya - Obadiah Parker

Bees!! Save Yourself! Your Weapons Are Useless Against Them!!!!

2006-08-07T12:57:00.000-05:00

Well, this happened a few days ago, but with the current hectic pace of my life timelyness is far from a priority. Sorry!

My wife has been committed lately to going for a daily walk in the woods. Some of the paths here at camp are marked better than others, but she said there are a lot of parts of camp that she had never even seen before.

Well, this is all good, but the other day we had quite a scare. With Leah in her backpack, she had started her walk. After a short walk, Leah started whimpering, and then crying.

Jamie had realized something was wrong and had one of our friends help get Leah down. It was pretty clear that Leah had been stung by a bee at least once if not twice.

Now a bee sting is typically not a big deal, but when it is your kids first time, it is pretty scary. You really don't know how your kid will react. Will they be allergic? How allergic? Is it fatal?

I'm sure all these thoughts ran through Jamie's mind, but thankfully Leah was fine. Well, maybe not fine. She cried plenty but after a little while and a lot of comforting she was fine. Definitely a scary adventure though.

A Little Dish of Miracles

2006-08-01T15:25:00.000-05:00

It's amazing how much of a difference a little satellite dish can make. I never thought that I would miss high speed internet more than cable TV, but it's true. The connectedness I feel with other people through instant messages, email, pictures and blogs is so important to me at this point in my life. Especially now that we live in the middle of the woods.

I know I haven't blogged in a long time and I have a lot to recap (the first summer running a camp makes for lots of stories including fires, lost campers, staff drama, learning a complex job on the fly, etc.) but that will come in time.

Today the focus is on just reconnecting with my former readers. If you are still checking this site, thank you and I'm sorry. I just couldn't handle dial-up for posting. It was like going into a time warp and trying to use and Apple II. It was just more frustrating than it was worth.

Once the dish was up on the house yesterday I immediately started downloading podcasts like crazy. I can't believe how fast satellite internet actually is. Maybe it's just because I am so used to dial-up, but it was really flying. I must have downloaded 20 podcasts last night just trying to fill my ipod with fresh content.

Well, unfortunately that is all I can think of for right now. I'll probably be posting daily or bi-daily again, but I won't promise anything until summer is over and my life slows down a little. Look forward to sharing my experiences with everyone again.

P.S. - Finally fixed that stupid error message that kept popping up. Turns out Google Analytics is more of a pain than a help!

The Pop Culture Hook

2006-05-19T14:41:00.000-05:00

After reading Tim's blog (http://www.timschmoyer.com/2006/05/17/tired-of-da-vinci-code-hype/), it has really helped me realize how desperate Christian culture can be at times. Is it just me or does it seem like Christians are constantly waiting for the next big Hollywood hit that can be used as a ministry tool? Granted, it does make it easier to convey a gospel message, but I wonder why that is?

Really, I have come to wonder if it is more a matter of Christians becoming lazy or the rest of the world becoming so jadded towards the gospel message. Let me explain.

First, the laziness. In general Christians are lazy. Then again, in general, non-Christians are lazy too. To commit to doing straight up evanglism the way Jesus did it would not only be scary, but also tiring. But then again, it worked. Jesus never waited for some great artisitic movement to hitch his message to. He just proclaimed love and grace. Why don't we do that?

Well, we usually don't do it because no one would listen. The rest of the world is so sick of hearing the gospel that they typically won't even hear you out. They just move on as if what you are saying is some annoying telemarketer conversation. As if the gospel had a timeshare attached to it...

But we can't change the way people are. We can change the way we present our message though. Rather than waiting for the next great Hollywood blockbuster, why not spread the gospel the way Jesus did?

Fully Saturated

2006-05-15T14:51:00.000-05:00

IMG_0676.JPG
Originally uploaded by NickWI.

I think we have had 5 days straight of rain now. Things around camp are just totally saturated. As much as we needed the rain, it’s getting kind of annoying. Not only annoying, but depressing.

I can’t believe how much I miss Jamie and Leah right now. It has only been a few days, but I am already near depression. I never thought I would get to the point of actually smelling Leah’s blankets, but I did it today at lunch. It’s amazing how much it reminded me of her. It was as if she was right there with me again. They really can’t get back here soon enough.

Tomorrow night I plan on going to Mankato. Hopefully I have somewhere to sleep. The plan is to mow the lawn at our house on Wednesday and then head back here to Westfield that night. I have high hopes of seeing some friends and hopefully my small group guys as well though.

-Update- I just talked to Jamie on the phone! It is 8:30 PM in Ireland right now and she said so far Leah is doing really well. I guess Leah slept most of the plane trip, which is a huge blessing. Jamie sounded a little down and I told her to try and have fun. It is difficult for us to be apart for this long, but I’m sure it will get easier toward the end of this week.

Living Without My Girls

2006-05-12T10:25:00.000-05:00

IMG_0619.JPG
Originally uploaded by NickWI.

Well, the day has finally arrived. Jamie and Leah are leaving me for two weeks as of today. It's going to be really hard, but I know it's important that they go. This trip will hopefully create some great memories for all of them and at least some great pictures for Leah to look back on later in her life.

At the same time though, I'm going to be awfully lonely and sad without them. Leah has become such a joy to have around her smile makes my life so much better. If I will miss anything, it will be her smile.

I will also miss having Jamie around the house though. We have so many TV shows that we watch together and I love reacting to the big moments with her. She really is my best friend.

Most of all though I will miss the times that Jamie comes to visit me in the camp office with Leah. Nothing breaks the monotony of my life quite like having them stop by for a few minutes. Again, Leah's smile just makes my day worth living.

So for the next two weeks I will probably be posting more as I try to get myself through this time as quickly as possible.

A bad case of the Wednesdays

2006-05-10T08:52:00.000-05:00

It is really bizarre to now treat Wednesday as my new Monday. Heck, it was weird enough treating Tuesday as my "weekend."

We did get a lot done around the house yesterday though. We hung most of the pictures we own which is really not that many. I ordered a couple videogames (Ratchet & Clank 3 and God of War) for amusement while Jamie and Leah are off in Ireland. I'm really going to miss them while they are gone. Hopefully I can just keep busy so the time goes fast.

I am also slowly adjusting to the dial-up nightmare for internet access. It is ridiculous that it takes me an hour to upload 1 photo to Flickr, but if I start it at 9 pm, watch some TV and come back, it's usually done. I just need to pace myself so I don't have a huge back log of photos. It also sounds like the plans to have satellite internet are moving along fast than planned. Probably by fall at the latest!

Not much else going on here at camp. It has rained the last few days which has made life kind of miserable. I'm hoping everything will dry out today so I can at least walk around and get my head straight. It always makes my job easier and more enjoyable when I walk around and realize how important this place is to so many ministries and how clearly God moves in this place.

Back in the Motherland

2006-05-02T20:02:00.000-05:00

A lot has happened in the last week. A lot.

On Thursday, we loaded up the moving truck and watched as our house went from cluttered to empty. It really helped this whole “process” sink in. The moving company did a great job and I can’t imagine moving without one in the future. Thursday night we went to our friends house and enjoyed a final evening in Mankato. It was kind of a sad night, but at the same time it was great to spend it enjoying their company.

On Friday, we loaded up the turtle, cleaned the house and made our trek from Mankato, MN to Westfield, WI. Leah did a great job as she slept the entire way (4 hours!). When we arrived at the camp, we were both overwhelmed with just how large this house is. I kind of forgot just how large the house is. There are four bedrooms, 3 bathrooms and a great finished basement. Friday night we spent at a hotel in Westfield as our “stuff” wasn’t at the house yet.

Saturday was the move-in day. After about 3 hours, all of our stuff was in the house. Getting it all unpacked will be a different story. We will be living in a cardboard jungle for several weeks I think. We also went to Appleton on Saturday for my dad’s 50th birthday. It was great to be able to drive home in just an hour and a half and for so many new relatives to meet Leah for the first time. Leah did get a little over stimulated due to the crowd though. She did good considering the overall stress of the last few days.

We returned home on Sunday and I actually started my job yesterday. I spent some time with the previous director learning the ropes of the camp and then spent some time in the office that afternoon. While I don’t understand all the tasks of my job yet, I can see many areas that my skills will be of use. Just in basic organization there is a lot of room for improvement. I could easily spend several late nights in the office just working. I have a feeling when Jamie and Leah go to Ireland I will be putting in some extra hours just to get things to a more comfortable state.

I could go on and on about the life without cable or high-speed internet, but I’ll save that for another day. I also need to figure out a way to get dial-up to my Mac in the basement so I can post pictures with my blogs easier. For now it is just text though. Sorry!

Packing Up My Life

2006-04-25T14:31:00.000-05:00

IMG_0605.JPG
Originally uploaded by NickWI.

Despite how cute Leah looks in this picture, packing is not fun. The stress of the house not being sold yet and just getting everything ready is really starting to wear on us. I keep telling myself that this is all God's will and His timing will come as soon as He is ready. I just need to keep this whole trust thing in perspective.

I am still fairly eager to get back to Wisconsin though. I always feel like I am "home" when I am in Wisconsin. I look forward to that feeling. And also to that feeling that what I am doing is more of an impact in the hearts, minds and souls of others. Far more than just working for a printing company is at least.

Sorry this isn't a longer post, but I am exhausted. I need to go rest or play a videogame or something to get my energy back.

Last Day of Work

2006-04-21T10:45:00.000-05:00

Okay, so maybe that isn't be punching out on my last day of work, but it is some guy doing it and I'll be doing the same thing later today. And I will definitely give the thumbs up to anyone with a camera in the area.

It's really weird being here. It is kind of rewarding though since a lot of people are coming up to me and telling me they will be praying for my success or how much they enjoyed working with me. I'm really trying hard to convey a moment of Christ to everyone I talk to, but it is difficult not to just force it in most cases.

This also marks the last day of daycare for the little peanut Leah. I'm really glad actually. She needs to be home with Jamie. I'm sure she will be a happier baby because of it. I can't wait to see her multiple times everyday.

I'm in the midst of designing the new website for Pine Lake. I have more or less decided to design it myself. My hope is that it will be a learning experience for me and that I can use that knowledge to start designing websites for other camps or ministries in the future. From the research I have done it looks like a lot of camps have really lousy websites. I'll be happy to change that as much as I can.

We also had a pretty huge blessing yesterday. My friend Josh called me and told me he had free tickets for Jamie and I to see Switchfoot in Mankato this weekend. I really wanted to go all along, but I figured we could save the money and that we had enough other stuff going on. However, after the past couple of weeks, it will be great to go to a concert and unwind a little. Much thanks to Josh for the gift!

On The Edge

2006-04-20T12:48:00.000-05:00

This photo pretty much sums up how I feel today. I am suddenly getting all these emails from people I work with who are wishing me luck at my new job at camp. As much as I appreciate the well-wishing, it is scaring the crap out of me.

As much as I trust God and know that He has a great plan for us at Pine Lake, I am still pretty nervous about the big life change. I honestly feel like I am on the edge of a cliff, looking down at a beautiful scene that is waiting for me to make the big jump. I know I will land on my feet and be safe, but it is still a long ways down.

Today we have our first showing of our house and hopefully it will sell quickly. At 4:30 PM CST I will be praying pretty hard for a good first impression. We have been working really hard with the help of some friends and family to get this house ready in time and this could be the pay off. I can't even imagine how much stress will be relieved if the house were to sell quickly. It would honestly be a huge blessing from God.

I am also working on the new website for the camp. I have done pretty extensive research looking at what other camps offer on their websites and what I really feel is helpful and/or important. I have a lot of work ahead of me just on this one project let alone the million other things that are probably lurking in the office when I finally get to camp.

Pine Lake Logo

2006-04-19T08:57:00.000-05:00

In my spare time, I threw together a potential logo for Pine Lake Camp. I plan on making a wide assortment of them and then taking a vote from regular visitors and the camping board. My hope is that this logo could be used on all signage, promotional materials, website, etc.

So...what do you think?

Happy Family

2006-04-18T10:38:00.000-05:00

IMG_0586.JPG
Originally uploaded by NickWI.

As happy as we are in this Easter Sunday picture, there is a lot of stress for us right now. We found out yesterday we need to have the house ready for showing on Wednesday...this Wednesday.

Then we are actually moving on next Thursday. It's hard to believe how fast this whole thing is moving. I mean, I am excited and I know God is going to keep us safe and everything, but it is difficult not to just breakdown constantly.

On the other hand, this is really our time in the wilderness before getting to a promised land. Last night I got so stressed out that I needed a minute to just be by myself and relax and think. Then God lays on me that this work is all for a purpose. Just stay the course and it will be okay. Just imagine how great it will feel to finally be settled in at Pine Lake.

So, in the words of the great Bill Murray in What About Bob, baby-steps to the door...baby-steps to the elevator...baby-steps onto the elevator...AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!

Just kidding. We'll be fine.

The Wonderous Cross

2006-04-17T13:01:00.000-05:00

After reading Kelly's blog, I felt motivated to write my own thoughts about this past Easter.

Most years, I have been distracted by the good food and family interactions at Easter (which are good things as well), but this year my Easter really was all about Jesus. We went to a Good Friday service at church that was really moving. In fact, worship in general has been really powerful for me lately.

Ever since we decided to take the job at Pine Lake, I feel as though Christ is right there with me during worship. I have occasionally felt this closeness to Him before, but never so consistently. It's amazing. I really feel as though I finally am going down the path He designated for me and that He is going to be an ever present help through all of this.

At the same time, this has made me even more aware of the ugly sin in my life. I generally live a good life, but I know that Jesus has so much more for me and wants me to live a life of blessing and free of all the stupid troubles that sin causes me. I am really motivated to "take out the trash" so to speak so that when I get back to Wisconsin I can start over not just my career, but my spiritual life as well.

Thank you Lord for giving me and my family such an amazing opportunity to serve you daily. Guide me and lead me in a way that I can always see your path and be drawn to your greatness and grace. Thank you for the cross and thank you for giving me a life of giving and receiving love.

Buy Our House!!

2006-04-13T08:40:00.000-05:00

It is starting to look like the biggest problem with moving is the actual sale of our house. I am still frantically fixing the house up and at the same time trying to get packed and make sure our house is ready to be put on the market.

I have pretty much conceded the fact that we will be making house payments for a few months before this thing sells. Ideally I just want to get out of our mortgage, but if we can get some extra cash for the work we have done on the house, that would be great too.

Last night we actually had two offers on our house. Both were people from church and both were break-even at best offers. One of the offers was actually less than what we paid for the house when we bought it. I am going to talk to our realtor tonight to see what his impression is. I'm hopeful that with the recent changes we made that he can give me a ballpark of what I can expect to sell it for if we put it on the market.

I will be so happy once we are at camp and all this stress is behind us. Our lives are just moving so fast that I don't even feel like I have time to really connect with Jamie and Leah. I spent an hour with them last night watching Lost, but other than that I didn't even see them. I can't wait to spend time with them down by the lake or just walking in the woods. I just need to relax and know that God has a blessing for us in less than a month.

Decision time Brett...seriously.

2006-04-12T08:50:00.000-05:00

Now that I know I am going back to live in Wisconsin, I am suddenly re-energized to watch Wisconsin sports. I never really lost my love for the Packers, Badgers, Brewers and sometimes the Bucks, but the fire had certainly been stifled due to the lack of TV coverage here in the barren wasteland of Minnesota.

With that said, it is hard to avoid the soap opera that is the Brett Favre retirement tango. The "will he or won't he" back and forth has become a daily story not just for Wisconsin sports fans, but for fans across the country. The question is, why?

Well, I have to assume that the reason so many people are intrigued by this story is because it is about a player that people respect and enjoy watching play. Even the typically biased Minnesota sports radio heads have given Favre his due respect as of late. If this same drama were unfolding for someone like Vinny Testaverde or Rich Gannon, few people would bat an eye. Instead, we have one of the few true living legends of the NFL on the brink of ending an amazing career.

For people in Wisconsin it is an even bigger deal. Before Favre and Reggie White showed up, Green Bay was literally a joke. We were the team that other coaches threatened to send their under productive players to. We were the team that when people saw it on their schedule instantly assumed it would be a win. We were the team that year after year found a way to lose.

Favre changed that. He made winning not only a possibility but fun too. The way that we have won some of these games in the last ten years have been absolutely unbelievable. I almost became eager for there to be 2 minutes left and being down by a touchdown.

But now it is time for a decision Brett. For the sake of my sanity, you need to decide. I know you want there to be some improvements to the team, we all do. There is nothing I would want more than to have LaVaar Arrington and Charles Woodson on the defense, but if we don't do you really think we will be 4-12 again? Honestly, I'm pretty sure we can avoid the injury bug and have at least a 10-6 season. I just wish that was enough to bring back the most entertaining football player I have ever watched.

Back to the Motherland

2006-04-11T12:02:00.000-05:00

I figured I should probably start posting again. I apologize for the relative silence, but life has been a whirlwind lately. Let me explain.

About a month ago my wife and I came to the realization that we could no longer afford for her to stay home with our daughter. We both dreaded the idea of putting her in daycare, but it seemed like the only option. After much prayer and crying, we prayed for God to give us a way out of this situation. Literally a half hour later, I received an email. An email that now looks like it will change our lives for quite a while.

The email was from the person in charge of the United Methodist Camping system in Wisconsin. My wife and I have long said our dream was to run a camp in Wisconsin and preferably Pine Lake Camp. It was at that camp that Jamie and I both really embraced our faith and it is also the place where we met.

To make a long story short, after much debate and inner turmoil, I applied for and got the job of our dreams. I couldn't and still can't believe it. I am so eager to be there now, but there is still a lot of work to do here in Minnesota.

So as of May 1, I will be in a new job, in a new house and with a new start on life. I will certainly miss many aspects of my life here in Minnesota though. We have made great friends and I honestly have a great job here as well. But this is clearly God's hand moving in our life.

When I was at Pine Lake for the interview, I was walking around the camp praying. I remember standing on the edge of the lake looking out at the waves and just feeling this sense from God that I was meant to be here. It is amazing to know in my heart that God has this distinct plan for my life. It is something I have always known, but never experience like this.

...to the point of exhaustion.

2006-02-10T10:18:00.000-06:00

It seems like life is never going to slow down at this point! I keep telling myself “once Leah gets on a schedule” or “once I get a few more things done at work” that my life will at least come down a notch or two. Not yet.

Instead, it seems like I have more to do but miraculously I also have more energy to accomplish it. For example, I am now managing a larger workload, becoming a dad, and taking on more responsibility with the youth ministry again. It’s amazing how you can find energy when you need it. Especially when it is for ministry purposes…

There is the worry of this all screeching to a halt soon though. I am afraid that I will eventually just hit a wall and need to go into hibernation for a few days just to recover. I’m sure there are ways of protecting myself from driving to the point of exhaustion. I’m just not sure I want to scale back my life just to be more comfortable.

I think the only area I really can scale back is in my “entertainment” area which would include TV and videogames. On the other hand though, those are a form of release for me and I don’t know if that would actually help. There is something rewarding about playing just a few minutes of videogames each night. The amount I play has certainly come down, but as of right now I don’t really miss it. I would much rather be holding Leah than a controller most times.

With all that said, I am hoping for a restful weekend. I might do a little bit of work around the house, but nothing major. I would like to do some plaster work in the hall way and TV room, but that is probably all I will do. Just a couple of hours on Saturday afternoon. Other than that, I’m hoping to just take it easy and enjoy my family.

Email Posting

2006-02-07T09:06:00.000-06:00

Since I am no longer able to really go on the internet for “leisure” purposes at work, I am going to try and post via email. Hopefully this works. I’m not sure what this means as far as photos either. I’ll try throwing a picture in at the end of this post to see if it makes the conversion, but I have my doubts.

Last night was a pretty good time. Jamie, Leah and I went to the youth ministry large group. We played a long game of dodgeball and a weird version of capture the flag. I personally don’t think sports gets any better than dodgeball. It’s just pure adrenaline and pain. Always fun.

Not much else going on really. Just wanted to see if this email post thing would be worthwhile.

Redirecting My Small Group Tonight

2006-02-01T09:27:00.000-06:00

This morning while I was driving to work I had a realization about my small group. We aren't getting anywhere. Let me explain.

I have been mentoring, teaching and just plain hanging out with the same group of high school guys for the past 3 years. Since they were freshmen I have been a part of their lives and now they are juniors. It's amazing how much some of them have grown.

And at the same time, it's sad to see how far some of the other guys have fallen away. For a long time now I have done my best to try and maintain the group by doing fun things. We play videogames together, we play Risk together, we just have fun. And I think that is important.

But at the same time, I am not here to be their friend alone. I need to really refocus myself to be a spiritual mentor to these guys. Pretty soon they will be graduating from high school and the greatest fear I have is for them to move on with their lives and not have an understanding of how to maintain their own faith.

So tonight I am hoping to start something new with these guys. I have always been a firm believer that more meaningful discussion occurs around a campfire than any other place I have ever seen. No distractions and everyone feels somewhat safer since it is difficult to fully see everyone. At any rate, I am hoping to just have a good heart-to-heart with my guys. About life, direction, and of course, God.

Soooo tired...

2006-01-31T13:41:00.000-06:00

I apologize for not updating on a more consistent basis. I have been just exhausted the last few days. Some of it is still getting used to the impact Leah is having on our sleeping schedule, but I think even more so it is recovering from having guests at our house week after week. As much as I have enjoyed having them over, I am anxious to have our first weekend with just Jamie, Leah and myself. It will be a nice break.

Last night I spoke at the large group of our senior high youth ministry about the parallels of becoming a dad and the way our Heavenly Father interacts with us. The biggest one for me so far is that Leah cannot really see us unless we are within about 6" from her face. We are always there caring for her, telling her we love her and smiling down at her, but she usually cannot see it. I know that my Father in heaven does the same with me everyday. I just didn't really think about it until we had Leah.

Today I have to leave work early to have a passport made for Leah. I'm not crazy about Leah and Jamie both being gone for so long, but it's important they go. I'm just going to be awfully sad when they do. I sure hope that she remembers me when they get back home.

That's all for now. Like I said before, sorry for not posting very much. Hopefully I can find some time here and there to drop at least a few words every day or two.

My daugther the duck

2006-01-16T14:35:00.000-06:00

Duck Suit
Originally uploaded by NickWI.

As we brought Leah home from the hospital on Friday, Jamie and I both knew it was finally time to unveil the going-home outfit.

We had the outfit for a long time and we both knew this was the outfit our child would wear when it went home. I had no idea she would be so darn cute wearing it though.

Life with Leah is still pretty good. She doesn't fuss a whole lot and when she does she can be settled down in a few minutes.

The lack of sleep is still an adjustment, but we are getting by. I'm really glad we got that DVR for recording all our favorite TV shows though. You never know when a poopy diaper will strike.

Leah Jeanne Coenen

2006-01-12T12:55:00.000-06:00

IMG_0065
Originally uploaded by NickWI.

Well, it's finally done. At least this part is...

It was amazing, painful, scary, heart-wrenching and overwhelming. I can't believe we made it. I'll be honest, there were times when I really thought there was no way we were going to get that baby out naturally. My wife is amazing.

A brief rundown of yesterday's events. Jamie and I arrived at the hospital at 6 am as we were scheduled for the induction. We settled in our labor room and Jamie received an IV. The inducement proceeded pretty quickly with contractions starting to come pretty frequently at 7:45 am.

As things progressed, Jamie decided she wanted some Nubain for the pain. This seemed to help a lot as she looked much more comfortable and as I put it, "You are totally wasted on Nubain."

Things continued to get stronger and as the Nubain wore off, Jamie was in pretty rough shape. She asked for a second dose of Nubain, but it had little effect. I was pretty concerned at this point since she was moving along quickly (several centimeters in the span of an hour) and her body was having a hard time keeping up.

We had debated doing an ISN which is bascially a drug that numbs you from torso to the top of her legs. For the next few hours, contractions happened, but Jamie didn't really feel the pain from them. Jeanne and I went for lunch at this point.

When we came back, Jamie was very mellow but the contractions were starting to gain intensity again. We quickly realized that is was time to start again. The transition into active labor went pretty fast as well. Several contractions were hitting at a pace of 1 a minute each lasting a minute. Jamie was shaking a lot and she was feeling pretty scared.

Then it was finally time to push. The pushing was a relief since it was suddenly a way to release the pressure that was building up inside of Jamie. The relief was temporary though since the baby moved down quickly which added more pressure down lower.

After less than an hour of pushing, Leah Jeanne was in the world. It was amazing. The last couple of pushes and the actual release of the baby was something that is usually disturbing on a video, but when it is your own child it is honestly the most amazing thing I have ever seen. Knowing that this child is someone that I love instantly and that I am devoted to caring for and protecting is overwhelming. I was in tears many times yesterday and today.

I can't get over how much God blesses us with children. The love I feel for her is a love different than anything I have ever experienced. She has completely stolen my heart and I can't wait to get to know her better and to share life with her.

Still no baby...

2006-01-09T11:53:00.000-06:00

I can't believe it, but still no baby. It's become almost laughable at this point. I know that it's just a matter of time, but I never would have guessed it would take this long. The Wednesday inducement is looking like the only way that kid is coming out.

This weekend I watched a lot of playoff football. One game in particular was hard to watch. I have been intrigued with the Bengals all season and a part of me was hoping that they would make it all the way to the Super Bowl. It wasn't meant to be though.

On the first pass of his playoff career, Carson Palmer has his knee obliterated. Torn ACL & MCL. Jon Kitna comes into try and fix matters, but doesn't get the job done. A very good Bengals team is now going home. Ouch.

I finished up another videogame that I got for Christmas this weekend. This time it was Sly Cooper. I have now completed two of the five games I got for Christmas. I still plan on going back through them to unlock all the bonus material though.

As a note, I probably won't be posting as often (or maybe just the opposite?) once we have the kid. Just a thought...

Professional Blogger...

2006-01-06T09:10:00.000-06:00

It was only a matter of time until it happened. It looks like I'm finally getting back into the writing industry. Sort of.

With the baby soon to arrive, I decided I would like to make some additional money somehow. Unsure of how I wanted to accomplish this goal, I just kept my eyes open for opportunities. I was really hoping for some time in the Tycoon Typhoon, but alas, it was not to be.

Instead, I saw an opening at a Green Bay Packers blog that I visit regularly. I figured it wouldn't pay at all, but I was still interested just to start writing again. Well, it turns out that I split ad revenues from the page 50/50 with the promoter. It's not great, but I'll take it considering I was going to do it for free.

I'll let you know the address of the site once I know for sure I have the spot, but it sounds like a sure thing. Hope I don't burn out on writing about the Packers. This offseason should be interesting enough to keep me occupied though.

The Final Countdown!

2006-01-05T09:22:00.000-06:00

I'm not a huge Europe fan, but I can't get the song "The Final Countdown" out of my head right now.

Yesterday we got a definitive date on when we will have to have this baby by. We are scheduled for an induced labor next Wednesday at 7:30 am. I think Jamie wanted to go even earlier than that, but we are just now on the due date today. It's crazy to think that in a week or less I will be a dad. The level of responsibility that demands surely won't hit me until the baby is in my arms.

So last night was probably the best college football game I've seen...ever. I had five high school guys over from my small group for the game and it was a great time. I miss hanging out with those guys and it will be really difficult to see them all leave after next year. It's amazing how much maturity and growth occurs during high school.

This weekend is looking like more work on the bathroom. I still have a section of adhesive to scrape off the walls and then I can start thinking about removing the medicine cabinet. Once that is out we can paint. That room has come a long ways since we bought the house. I can't wait to have it finished!

iPod Tagging

2006-01-04T08:36:00.000-06:00

My buddy Josh came up with a pretty ingenious idea. In the spirit of sharing the most personal information imaginable on a blog, he is calling for all iPod users to post their current top five songs listened to. Truly a glimpse into a man/woman's soul.

So without further ado:

1. Are You Lonely? by The River Bends (also happens to be the first song alphabetically in my library.)

2. Save It For A Rainy Day by The Jayhawks (it's been cloudy in Minnesota lately)

3. I'll Fly Away by Jars of Clay (I'm a sucker for old hymn remakes)

4. Evergreen by Switchfoot (coming off the Christmas season...)

5. We Are by Number One Gun (most recent CD purchase)

This list is really not a very accurate reflection of my listening habits though. I really use my iPod for podcasts more than anything. Every morning I listen to daily scripture readings from Bible in a Year and the ESPN podcast to catch me up on any sports stories I might have missed.

Speaking of sports stories, I stayed up until midnight last night watching the triple overtime Orange Bowl. Amazing game. I couldn't believe the human drama that was playing out with the kickers. In the end Penn State won as I predicted though, so that was nice.

Also in sad news, my prayers go out to the families and friends of the coal miners that died in West Virginia. I was as excited as everyone else when the news came out that 12 had survived last night only to hear this morning that they got the story wrong and only 1 had survived. That has to be heart wrenching. May God bless those families with a peace of His presence.

12 Hours in a Recliner (or How I Spent My Day Off)

2006-01-03T09:13:00.000-06:00

If there is one thing that is great about the start of a new year, it's the football. For someone who loves college football it doesn't get any better than this week. All the best teams finally playing each other for the last game of many players lives or, if they are lucky, one last chance to impress NFL scouts.

Yesterday I watched 4 full football games. I'm not even joking. I watched the Gator, Capitol One, Fiesta and Sugar Bowls. That's a lot of Bowls. The best part was that none of the games really disappointed. I couldn't believe Wisconsin ran away with the game against Auburn. Where has that defense been all year?

So by the end of the day, I had literally spent 12 hours in a recliner in front of the TV. Normally I would feel obese after such lazy behavior, but since we are expecting our first kid any day now, I figured this was probably my last chance to really enjoy a football game.

Other big news yesterday was the firing of the Packers head coach. I'd like to say that I'll miss him, but I never really liked Coach Sherman. I'm hoping we can get someone really outstanding like Ferentz from Iowa or possibly just promote Jim Bates from Defensive Coordinator to Head Coach. Only time will tell how this impacts Favre's career potential as well.

Tomorrow is the last doctor's appointment for the baby. If we don't have the kid tonight, we will be scheduling inducement sometime next week. I really don't want to induce since it takes the excitement out of the moment of labor, but either way I'll just be glad to finally be able to hold the little one.

It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time...

2005-12-28T08:35:00.000-06:00

Last night we went to a friend's house to celebrate my birthday and eat some cake. Then we decided to watch a couple of videos from my past. Pretty embarrassing stuff.

The first one we watched was from when I was interviewed on Fox News. Several years ago there was this crazy pipe bomber who drove around the midwest trying to create a smiley face with bombs. It just so happened that this guy went to the same college as me and since I was running the campus newspaper at the time it kind of vaulted me into the national media. It was a crazy experience and certainly one I will tell my kids about someday.

Anyway, I was interviewed on Fox News to give the "pulse of the campus" and I totally screwed up. I ended up saying the wrong name twice and I just looked like a wreck. Probably because I was a wreck though...no sleep for two days does that to a person.

The second video we watched was from me in high school. Back in the day my church youth group did a little something called "human videos." If you are unfamiliar, they are basically acting out the motions to song to try and convey a message. At the time it seemed like a pretty revolutionary concept, but looking back at it today it's pretty ridiculous. The worst part was that I was playing the role of Jesus and was actually in a loin cloth. Gross.

It's funny, because I remember several times where I knew we had made an impact on people and that they had had their faith moved. It's hard to imagine that now that I see how hokey it looked. I guess God even uses ridiculous things to reach people sometimes.

Happy Birthday to Jesus (and me)!

2005-12-27T12:54:00.000-06:00

Hope everyone had a great Christmas. Mine was quite good. We had some of Jamie's family up, so it was fun and a little crowded in the house. I missed not seeing my family, but they will be here to see the baby soon enough I'm sure.

It was an abundance of videogames this year. 5 games in total which when added to the literal drawer full of unfinished games I already have, I don't see myself buying a new game for quite some time. Perhaps it will hold me over until the Playstation 3 is released?

It was also my birthday yesterday which was really just a day of relaxing. I played some of my new games and we went out to TimberLodge for dinner where I had a great prime rib. Whenever you can eat so much for dinner that you can skip breakfast the next morning because you are still full is a great thing.

Tonight I don't really plan on doing too much. Probably work on cleaning up the remains of Christmas. I'm not sure what the Mankato policy is on tree removal, but I would like to get rid of our tree fairly soon. It is starting to loose needles like crazy.

I have some stuff to share about the church service I went to on Christmas Eve, but I'll share that another time. I should get back to work for now.

Not a Big Fan of the Big City

2005-12-22T08:36:00.000-06:00

Okay, so maybe it didn't look like this exactly, but this will give you an idea of the ridiculous traffic I got stuck in coming back from St. Paul yesterday. I'm still glad I went on the trip, but if Jamie would have called with me stuck there I would have gone crazy.

Last night I finally got the shower to a working state. It still has a slow leak from one of the pipes, but I'm going to wait until my dad comes to Mankato to work on that one. I've never done any pipe work before and I don't want to jeopardize the shower prior to a new baby arrival as well as quite a few guests for the Christmas holidays.

Last night I watched a special I taped that was on 48-Hours. It was about the validity of the Christmas story. To be honest, it made some very good points. The inconsistencies of the two gospel accounts that talk about the Christmas story are very distinct and they did their best to try and figure out the issues. It really makes me question just what occurred, but at the same time it doesn't really change my faith. As it was mentioned in the show, even if Christ was not a virgin birth, he can still be the savior of the universe. It kind of messes with some theology (being born of God and from a union devoid of human sin) but at the end of the day I'm not going to let an hour special on CBS determine my faith.

Today I have quite a bit of work to do at work, but once I get home it shouldn't be that bad. I think I might finally take it easy for a night and play some videogames. I've really been to focused on getting that bathroom to a working condition to relax much lately. I figure I need to take it easy these next few days because once the baby arrives my life will never be so simple again.

Shower from Hades

2005-12-21T10:57:00.000-06:00

Just when I thought I had the shower finished, the pipes are leaking. Great. So tonight I get to try and figure out where the heck the leak is coming from inside the wall and do some hopefully minor repairs. Shouldn't be too bad I don't think.

Kind of a short post today. I have to go up to St. Paul to meet with a potential vendor. Hopefully Jamie can hold off on having that baby today! Otherwise I might be looking at driving back awfully fast...

Shower Surround Installed

2005-12-20T08:51:00.000-06:00

This isn't a picture of our bathroom, but it is a picture of the shower surround I installed last night. I still need to caulk all the seams and install the new shower head/faucet, but the hard part is certainly over. It really feels like a totally different bathroom now that the gross tile is out of there. Now we just need to scrape the remaining adhesive off the walls, repair some holes and paint.

I typically don't do home improvements when a Packer game is on, but last night wasn't much of a game. It was just plain depressing. I read this morning that Favre left the stadium without even talking to the media. I hope this isn't a sign that he has had enough and plans to retire. I wouldn't blame him though. It seems like the team has given up on him at this point.

I received the first email response from the sports camp movies I sent out this weekend. It was a really great email from a camper who said she hasn't been the same since camp and how eager she is for activities at her church. It was really encouraging to hear from her and the impact camp has had on her. I am kind of eager to see if I will get anymore responses now!

I forgot to mention this, but when I was working on the shower I stabbed myself in the hand with a screw driver pretty good. I was trying to get a piece of the surround material out of a 2-1/8" hole adapter for my drill and a ended up stabbing myself pretty hard in the knuckle. It hurt pretty good, but I luckily hit myself in the knuckle instead of the meat of my hand. It could have been bad.

A woman I work with who had the same due date as Jamie had her baby this past weekend. It kind of hit me how close we are to the finish now. I plan on gathering up the camcorder and camera tonight and making sure they are in working order. In the words of Simon Birch, "I could go at any time." I sure hope so. I can't wait to meet this new addition to our family.

Getting Over the Illness

2005-12-19T10:53:00.000-06:00

Sorry for the lack of updates, but I was in such rough shape on Friday that I didn't even go to work. I am still not in great shape, but it's getting better.

This weekend was pretty good. Friday was pretty much a recovery day. Slept until 11 am, then I picked up around the house and got a few loose ends tied up. Probably played some videogames too...I don't really remember. Nyquil should probably be outlawed in at least a few states.

Saturday was better. I worked on scraping the ceiling in the bathroom (peeling paint) and used a lot of mildew killer. That evening we went to a Christmas party at our friend's house which was a lot of fun. Met some new people and played a pretty good game of Mafia.

Sunday was good as well. Church was okay and afterwards I went to Menard's with Micah (from my small group) and picked up a new shower surround. I spent the rest of the day ripping out the old tile from the shower and exposing myself to some horrible 20 year-old mildew. I had the worst headache that night. We are without a shower right now as I'm trying to let all the moisture in the wall dry out. I'm hoping tonight after work I can put in the new surround and have a functioning shower. It will definitely be ready by the time Jamie's family gets here. (Don't worry!)

That's about it for now. I have a ton of work to do today and it's already 11 am. I think work is trying to hit me hard before the baby arrives. There might be some late nights coming up in the next two weeks...

My throat feels like...gravel.

2005-12-15T09:14:00.000-06:00

Ever since yesterday afternoon I have had a vicious sore throat. I am hopeful that it is not strep throat, but I'm not sure. I should probably go get tested, but I don't have that much ambition.

Last night I finally got to see Narnia. The junior and senior high youth both had their end of year parties at Timberlodge Steakhouse (which was good food, but the wait was horrible) and then we packed the theater for the movie.

I have to say that this movie was the best translation of a book to live action that I have ever seen. They really didn't alter anything. I'm sure there was some artistic license taken in regards to how things look aesthetically, but that is to be expected. Nothing really looked out of place though. The only part about the movie that I did not like was that some of the computer generated sequences were very obviously computer generated. I know this technology has come a long way, but it's by no means perfect yet.

This weekend should be a good time. My best friend who lives up in St. Paul is finally going to buy Battlefield so we can play that online against each other so that will be fun. Also I plan on tearing out our shower and fixing that up as well. Hopefully this sickness doesn't take me out of commission anytime soon.

Tonight's Sleep Sponsored by Nyquil

2005-12-13T08:24:00.000-06:00

My wife decided to get me sick yesterday. She has had a nasty sinus infection for the last few days and I recently contracted it from her. Yesterday at work my head felt like it was going to explode and I was pretty achey.

With this pain nagging me, I decided to bring out the big guns. At about 7:30 PM I took two Nyquil geltabs and by 8:30 I was borderline comatose. It was wonderful. I slept so good last night. I try not to use medication very often, but when I do my body responds very well since it hasn't been conditioned.

This morning I finished listening to a podcast sermon on my iPod from Covenant Life Church. It was about the "Song of Mary." In essence it covered the importance of Mary and Elizabeth in the context of the Christmas story. It looked at this part of Mary's life from the eyes of a modern day teenager and how that would impact the life of a teenage mother with such unique circumstances. It was very eye-opening and gives me a new appreciation for Mary and Joseph. I still understand her role in relation to Jesus, but she did have a pretty monumental role that shows God's promise.

Tonight hopefully my wife and I can just take it easy. We plan on watching the Amazing Race finale and that's probably about it. Hope you all have a more productive night that us!

Sure, now you win a game...

2005-12-12T08:46:00.000-06:00

Why is it that the Packers decide to win their third game of the season when I can't watch it? Don't get me wrong, I'm glad they won, but I'd at least like to have the option of watching it. It's times like this that I really miss ESPN.

My wife and I watched Survivor last night. Kind of a huge surprise that Danni was able to pull out the big win at the end. I was even more surprised though that she seems to be a pretty solid Christian as well. It was a curveball that her faith hadn't really been focused on up to this point and then suddenly it was pretty common discussion. Hope she doesn't something good with the money as she said she would.

Continued work on the bathroom rolled on this weekend with me scrapping more adhesive off the walls (I swear I'm going to torture the person who invented plastic tile) and the installation of our new sink. Not a lot of great craftsmanship from the previous owner, so that was kind of a fun battle.

I didn't go to Narnia this weekend either. We decided that since my wife and I are going on Wednesday for a youth ministry outing we should probably save the money and just go once. I really want to support the movie, but cash is tight right now.

Movie Night!

2005-12-09T08:29:00.000-06:00

Tonight is finally the night when the first of hopefully many Narnia movies is released. I have been really excited about this movie for a long time and I can't wait to see it! I didn't plan on going to see it tonight since I will be seeing it Wednesday with my small group, but some of our friends are going. Besides, if I want to see additional movies made in this series, I need to support this thing as much as I can!

I do worry slightly about how the story will be presented and I am really hoping that it is as true to the story as possible. Aside from the gospel allegory that is presented, the story itself is really good. When I worked at camp my second year there were a few weeks when the hyperactive kids in my cabin wouldn't sleep and I found reading them this book was the only way to settle them down. Since the kids are largely of the Harry Potter generation, it's an interesting read to them.

I also made a few additions to the blog yesterday. I added what book I am currently reading as well as what CD I listen to the most. I average a book a month currently and the CD will probably change at about the same rate. I just thought it would be interesting to see what media is influencing me the most right now...come to think of it I should probably put a "Game I'm playing" in there too. I'll do that today.

Hope you all have a great weekend. Due to the end of the regular college football season I will have a lot of time on my hands this Saturday. Hopefully I can keep working on the bathroom.

The New Long-Term Plan

2005-12-08T09:02:00.000-06:00

I posted about a week ago about a meeting I had with my boss regarding the long-term goals for my career. As I mentioned in the post, I hadn't really considered that topic very much lately, so it was kind of jarring to suddenly be asked the question.

Since then, I have been thinking about it a lot. I mean, abnormally a lot. I keep wondering what God's plan is for me and my family. I also keep thinking that it is probably something larger than just working my days at a printing plant. Don't get me wrong, I love my job, but I always felt like God wanted me on the frontlines of ministry.

During this time I also started thinking about what kind of job I would truly love. Not just a job I would tolerate and go to, but really love. There are a select few I can think of: journalist, youth pastor, anything related to videogames, or a camp site director.

As you may notice, none of those are related to the printing industry. Nice work on that degree Nick. Idiot.

Oh well, I think I can still pursue those other dreams when the time is right. I really feel like God is pushing me towards ministry which leads me to think it's either youth pastor or camp site director. Jamie and I have always said we wanted to be site directors at a Methodist camp in Wisconsin in the future, but we didn't really know the path to get there. The site directors we have always worked with were usually far older than us and we assumed they had a laundry list of qualifications to get that position.

The more I dig into it though, the more I am realizing that is probably not true. The qualifications to run a camp are fairly simple: have a passion for your work, keep the camp in the black, and make it a refuge where people can encounter God. I think I can handle that.

More importantly, Jamie and I are already pretty well skilled in running camps. With Jamie's degree in Recreational Programming and both of our backgrounds of working at camps, I really think we need to start considering if this is where God wants us.

I emailed the head of all the UMC camps in Wisconsin yesterday to see what other qualifications we might need. There is a certification we can get through Drew University in New Jersey, but other than that, she made it sound like she thought we were reasonable candidates as well.

Once the baby is born we'll have to look into that certification. One thing at a time right now though...

Less than a month until I'm a dad!?!

2005-12-07T08:49:00.000-06:00

It's hard to believe that we are in the final stretch of the pregnancy right now. I can still remember the moment that Jamie yelled from the bathroom for me to come quickly. It's funny how in commercials they show a couple eagerly hovering over the pregnancy test waiting for the results. That didn't really happen for us, but maybe we are the exception.

Jamie is ready to have this kid already too. As she puts it, "I want my body back." I can never really understand what that must be like, but I'm sure it's frustrating. Not being comfortable 95% of the time, being told you can only sleep a certain way, being constantly tired, having people constantly rubbing your belly; I'm sure it gets old fast.

But soon it will all be over. Soon we will have a baby to hold and take care of and I'm actually really eager to get there. I might change my tune once the baby is here, but I don't see how parents ever put their kid down after they hold them for the first time. I will certainly have a difficult time doing that.

How not to clean a turtle tank...

2005-12-06T08:38:00.000-06:00

Maybe it's because my dad is an engineer. Maybe it's because I'm lazy. Maybe it's because I work in R&D. Whatever the reason, I hate doing things one way, if I can think of a more efficient method.

This weekend when I was fixing our bathroom, I was taking out the toilet and there was quite a bit of water left in the tank after shutting off the water. To remove the water, I used our Shop-Vac and sucked all the water up. Cue the light bulb over my head.

Last night I cleaned my turtle's aquarium. Each time I do this I take an ice cream bucket and transfer water into a larger bucket which is then dumped into the toilet. Being the genius that I am, I decided to use the Shop Vac to streamline the process.

Don't worry, I didn't suck up my turtle or anything, but I did create a mess. Once the water was sucked up into the Shop Vac (which was incredibly fast mind you) I had to empty it. So I wheeled it into the bathroom, lifted it up on to the toilet and undid the closure on the bottom to empty the water.

And the water came out. Really, really fast. Gross turtle water all over the place. Great. The worst part is that after I cleaned it up I honestly thought to myself "I just need to refine the process," and then I tried it again. Same results. Gross.

It would certainly work if it were summer and I could wheel the Shop Vac outside and just dump the water off the porch, but with our current sub-zero temperatures that really isn't a great idea.

At least the tank is clean now though...

Bathroom Remodeling and Killer Bunnies Weekend

2005-12-05T08:06:00.000-06:00

This weekend was actually very productive. My best-friend Tim was down to visit and help me do some serious remodel work in the bathroom. We ripped out the floor and replaced it with vinyl adhesive tile squares and also replaced the toilet. A lot of work, but it was also kind of fun. Okay, maybe ripping the floor out wasn't that fun.

I also saw that the Packers dropped yet another game. This is getting to the point where I simply need to start hoping they lose to get a higher draft pick. They have already destroyed their playoff hopes and even saving some face at this point is unlikely. I say we just go for Reggie Bush.

We also played some Killer Bunnies at my friend Josh's. If you are unfamiliar, Killer Bunnies is a pretty hilarious card game. It is pretty nerdy due to the sheer volume of rules, but it is fun and provides for a great social environment. For more info, go to http://www.killerbunnies.com.

I am hoping that I can stay home tonight. I really need to clean my turtle's tank and continue to work on the bathroom. I am kind of committed to helping out with a youth event tonight, but hopefully they can make due without me. I'll have to drop the youth pastor a line and see if I'm expendable.

Hope you all are having a great day!

In the desert, learning to trust my God.

2005-12-01T08:38:00.000-06:00

Amazing how much difference a day makes. I know yesterday I was all doom and gloom about my work situation, but I feel a lot better about it today. In several high speed emails with my friend Tim who is going through a similar situation, I really felt God lay the story of Moses on me.

I may be unhappy or discontent with my current job situation, but at times God's people go through...stuff. Moses and the Israelites for example. They had to wander in the desert for 40 years to get to the promised land. During that time they learned to rely on God for direction (pillar of fire) and for sustanance (manna). Perhaps I am expected to do the same during this time in my life? I may get frustrated at times, but I need to rely on God to be my direction and my sustainer.

I also got some more encouragement from a superior of mine at work. He told me how he has had a major career redirection about every 6 years during his life. So even though it looks like career is a long-term deal, it actually has a lot of interesting subplots going on. That was good to hear as well.

My mom is coming to visit this weekend and she should actually be at our house when I get home tonight. It will be good to have her around as Jamie and I are both feeling kind of overwhelmed. A lot of commitments are getting harder to keep during these last days of the pregnancy. I know my commitment to the youth ministry, but some meetings are just not fun for me right now.

Oh yeah, and we got 4 more inches of snow last night. Nice.

A lack of direction

2005-11-30T08:29:00.000-06:00

I had a bit of a curve ball thrown at me yesterday. I try not to discuss work very much in my blog, but my boss took me out to lunch to discuss what my short term goals are. The scary thing is that I really haven't thought about it. Ever since I left college I have just put in my time. I don't have a destination so to speak in mind.

Don't get me wrong, I want to advance. I want to succeed. But at what? I know I have a passion and a calling for ministry, but I have never been sure if that is full-time or just as a volunteer as I am now. Jamie and I know long-term that we want to run a camp (hopefully in Wisconsin), but that seems pretty far off in the distance right now.

To further confuse matters, my best friend emailed me yesterday asking me what I would consider doing as a full-time Christian ministry/business. He suggested something like a retreat center in the Twin Cities area. I'm not sure that would work for me, but it is perking a sense of curiousity in me.

Lord, please give me a hint of the plan you have for my life. I know you don't want me to be anxious, but I am eager to follow and do Your will for my life. Please bless me with a work that is both enjoyable for my being as well as benefitial for Your kingdom. Amen.

Snow is finally here!

2005-11-29T08:31:00.000-06:00

I'm not a meteorologist or anything, but that looks like a lot of snow. Considering mankato is right in the middle of that mess I would say we will get quite a bit more as well. It was actually quite nice to do some shoveling this morning. Great way to get the blood flowing nice and early.

Last night we had a large group for the senior high youth ministry. The senior high youth pastor just had surgery for a hernia yesterday so I filled in along with one of my friends. We thought we were well prepared. We were wrong.

The night was supposed to have a drama by one of the senior high youth. It turned out that she knew nothing about the drama and ended up bailing on us. So instead, we just did an informal Bible study and I talked a little at the end about the decisions students can make about sex when they are in high school. It is a tricky topic with kids. They are being told sex is a great thing, but at the same time they shouldn't mess with it. I don't disagree with the truth of that message, but it certainly can be confusing for kids.

We also played this crazy game that my friend Jake taught us. It's called "Buck, Buck." To play it, you make a line of kids kind of hunch over and then another kid runs and jumps on top of them. Then, as more kids pile up, either the line below them collapses or those jumping on top fall off. Who ever holds out the longest wins. Pretty hilarious stuff.

I stayed after until about 9:30 to watch football and talk to some of the youth. I had a long talk with one student who is a strong atheist and is really bitter towards God. I did my best to present a message of hope to him, but he is just too bitter to listen. I am hopeful that he will keep coming back so I can just show him love and grace.

Not much going on tonight. Jamie and I will probably watch the Biggest Loser finale (yeah, I know, but we are hooked on the show, okay?) and the Amazing Race. Other than that, just doing laundry to catch up from the weekend and probably some dishes.